Okay, Jalops — prepare to set your faces to stunned.

Police in Johannesburg, South Africa are investigating a bizarre crash from Thursday that claimed the life of an Audi R8 driver and a police officer who was also inside the car.

Right off the bat, let me make something absolutely clear: this is only freaky if you're a hard-core air-cooled VW geek. Many of you won't even realize what the big deal is, but if you're a hard-core Beetle person, lay down a dropcloth since your mind is gonna be blown.

Listen: dealing with children is hard. I don't have any kids myself, but from what I've seen with my friends who do have them, they can go from charming and adorable one minute to tiny little terrorists the next minute. Also, they have sticky hands.

Motorcycle rider Johan Gray was qualifying for the Amageza 2012 endurance race in Gauteng, South Africa, when he saw a calf drowning in an irrigation canal. Then he went and singlehandedly rescued it.

You can thank 94.7 Highveld Stereo in Johannesburg for this, the funniest car complaint we've ever heard.

During a Top Gear live event in Durban, South Africa yesterday a world record was broken for the first double loop in a vehicle.

South Africa has a well-earned reputation for being a terrible place to drive, with a per-capita fatality rate ten times higher than America. Behind the statistics lie some awesomely random and chilling events, a few of which inevitably end up on tape.

How iconic is the 2012 Porsche 911's shape? Poor South African slum children immediately recognize it as a Porsche 911 while the vehicle undergoes a mixture of hot weather testing and glamour shots. So far, it seems to be doing better in the sand than in the snow.

In Johannesburg, South Africa, some thieves have found that there's an even cheaper and more anonymous way to make phone calls than buying disposable "burners" (like those featuring so prominently in The Wire): Traffic lights.