Two words: autocross everything.
Dubai is equal parts engineering marvel and rich person playground. It’s where drones race pricey supercars and skateboarders rent out and drain entire waterparks for their amusement. It’s also where BASE jumpers Chris Douggs McDougall and Jimmy Pouchert shot themselves 300 feet into the air just for the fuck of it.
The Dubai Police have reportedly knocked down their local hooligans a peg, seizing 81 vehicles allegedly involved in street racing. And we’re not talking about clapped-out Civics; cops say some cars were clearing 180 MPH on public roads.
We’ve seen all manner of insane iron on Dubai’s police force, but apparently they’re also picking up a wing of tuned Corvettes in pursuit of “the world’s fastest fire engine” record. And, presumably, fire.
The Nissan Patrol is basically an old-school off-road capable SUV popular in the Middle East, Australia and other markets that aren’t ours. Many of these trucks are modified to go dirt driving and dune bashing. This one is built for speed.
I remember him sitting up on the deck of the supply truck, smoking and watching the rest of the X-Raid crew work on the two Dakar-winning Minis assembled out here in the dunes outside Dubai.
Someone spotted what definitely looks like a real lion casually riding in the cab of a late-model GM work truck.
We’ve been skeptical of the supposedly 5,000 horsepower Devel Sixteen hypercar since it was unveiled at the Dubai Motor Show back in 2013. The company even had a running one, with what was claimed to be their own V16 engine. We didn’t fall for it then, but they seem to have an engine now, and while it’s about a Veyron…
What Americans might vaguely recognize as an Infiniti QX80 is sold in the U.A.E. as the Nissan Patrol, and it’s one of the most popular SUVs in the region. So to pimp their Nismo performance brand in Dubai, Nissan decided to pass on another sports car and slap some splitters on this behemoth.
Dubai is known for its obscene displays of wealth, and the tradition is continuing with the new Bugatti-inspired houses from DAMAC Properties.
Jebel Jais was supposed to lead to the boom of the new, growing, oil-rich and tourist-friendly United Arab Emirates. Instead the road became a perfectly paved 22-mile symbol of the global recession, a dream for fast drivers, and a safe haven from a brutal surveillance state — all to the tune of just $80 million.
We already knew the Dubai Police were incapable of half-measures, so I guess it’s no surprise their new utility vehicle has a fairly massive lift, desert prerunner bumper, and fender flares like Terry Crews’ deltoids. What do you think of Dubai PD’s 2015 GMC Sierra off-roader?
This exact X-Raid Mini All4 Racing won the toughest race in the world, the Dakar Rally. It might be the most capable vehicle on the planet. And I got it stuck in the desert outside of Dubai.
This lifted 1972 Ford pickup called ‘Sloppy’ is more like a speedboat than anything else. You pretty much have to steer it with the gas in the desert and it will jump around more than House of Pain. It’s pure gold.
That trophy goes to a lifted pickup truck from the seventies. But what are these cars doing in Dubai in the first place? Enjoying sand dunes and long stretches of open tarmac. Duh.
A 2014 Toyota Land Cruiser weighs about 5,875 pounds and despite all the heritage, is not something I would consider as a proper off-road vehicle. In Dubai though, the playing field is a bit crazier.
Today I went airborne in a luxury SUV, met a Qatari Dakar winner, met some camels, saw some amazingly crazy modified cars, and I got passed by the police in a Ferrari. This has been my first day in Dubai.
The Dubai Police's Aventador, Veyron, and assorted other superluxury cars just got a new companion: a BMW i8 done up in the now-famous green and white livery.
Slight correction there, actually. This key, done in a diamond-encrusted style that serves as an homage to the flag of Saudi Arabia (of course), costs at least $46,000. That's where pricing starts, and it only goes up from there.
"Fuck you Travis Oval-piston-face." The words repeated and scorched the inside of my head and the anger grew and swelled and assumed a magnitude which left me no longer in control of it.