A whopping 3.3 million Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas and Mazdas are being recalled due to a minor little glitch in which the passenger-side airbags send shrapnel flying into the cabin. Doesn't that sound fun?

There I was, explaining to my mom how I had just crashed the family Volvo 240 station wagon into a parked Corolla. "I couldn't have been going that fast, mom, the airbag didn't even go off."

If you survive the fiery window switches of doom you're only buying time until you crash and a counterfeit Chinese airbag doesn't explode, thus ending your life prematurely. Or worse, rather than not exploding, it blows up in your face like in the video above.

GM Engineer Brad Doerr's fiancée Holly would normally be out on the track with him and their Cadillac CTS-V Sport Wagon for a day of auto-crossing, but she was a little busy getting primped for the wedding they'd planned just two hours later. So there he was, alone, out on a fairly tame course when all of a sudden his…

This Chevy Camaro put on quite a drifting demonstration at a Michigan dragstrip last weekend. Right up until its side air bags decided they'd had one too many donuts and spontaneously deployed, slightly burning a passenger. UPDATE

A Massachusetts repairman choked on raisins while driving, blacking out behind the wheel of his truck which hit three other vehicles before an embankment. That collision triggered the air bags, knocking the raisins loose. Everybody's OK, minus some pride.

The 2012 Focus debuts Ford's next-generation airbag, designed with an internal tether which shapes the bag to reduce pressure and injuries to the ribs and abdomen. It also makes the airbag look like an old lady's bottom.

There have been some images circulating on the seedier, more Russian side of the Internet showing a hapless Mercedes driver with his forearm horribly branded by a Mercedes logo from an airbag deployment. Trouble is it's totally bullshit.

You know what rednecks hate more than dental hygiene and pluralism? Fancy porcelain toilets. And airbags. And the Dodge Dynasty. Really, anything that smacks of your modern sybaritic life.