Photos via eBay

If you’re the kind of person who views the phrase “I’m selling it before I kill myself in it” as a ringing endorsement, I just found your dream machine. Here is a lifted golf cart powered by a 115-horsepower engine from a 2002 Suzuki GSX-R600 sportbike.

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It’s perfect for terrorizing greens, neighbors and yourself. You’re welcome.

At one point in its life, this was a sedate orange 1986 EZ-Go Marathon golf cart, but it’s since been lifted and given that magical inline-4 sportbike engine that was good for 115 hp when new.

Photo via eBay

The seller bought it like this and claims the install is quite tidy, but certain tell-tale items like the addition of a clutch pedal and some clearly aftermarket bits on the dash give its homebrew status away.

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The seller minces no words about how ill-advised awesome this is to drive in the listing:

This thing is not the most stable vehicle in the world and it will go a lot faster than you will have the nerve to drive it. On the street it gets pretty nervous above about 30mph. I’m pretty stupid and this thing scares the crap out of me. I’m selling it before I kill myself in it. I thought it would be fun for my kids but after driving it myself, no way am I letting them drive it.

I suggest this is only driven by very intoxicated people because in a crash, the drunk is always the one who lives through it...

But wait, are you concerned somehow that this might be too much of a sleeper? Good news! There isn’t much of a muffler to speak of, either.

If this sounds exactly like the way you’d like to end up in the emergency room, this mystical chariot of decibels and fury can be yours for a buy-it-now price of $5,000. Check it out on eBay here, or go here if the listing is removed.