Crappy phone photo credit: Michael Ballaban/Jalopnik

A Subaru executive – whose name I forget and you wouldn’t care about anyways – proclaimed in the Impreza press conference today that the care is “reassuringly safe.” And after just looking at the 2017 Subaru Impreza, that is the most truthful thing I’ve heard all day.

This photo looks much better because it’s from Subaru. The car looks the same though.

Look, we all know that there hasn’t been an interesting-looking Subaru Impreza since 2007. Good driving cars, sure. The WRX and STI versions are a blast, in fact. But they look boring as all hell. There was the fainest glimmer of hope for the new Imprezas, based on the concept that we saw. But these are different. These look like base-model Toyota Corollas with all-wheel-drive.

These look like lumps of car.

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Subaru is aiming to sell over a million cars this year. They’ll probably do it, as long as they’ve got cars with mass-produced aesthetics such as this one.

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