As much as I love Porsches, there’s always been something off about the Panamera. It’s basically the Hunchback of Notre Dame in car form. “They should have just made it a wagon!” I’ve said. Now I have a new reason to kick myself: the spy shots of the new wagon version look oddly proportioned, too.

Here’s the latest spy footage of the new Panamera sedan-hatch-thing and Panamera Sport Turismo wagonish-thing from the Nürburgring. Bask in the glorious howl of tortured tires that scream in protest at hustling the big things around. If all else fails, at least they’ll still sound good.

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Don’t get me wrong: everyone I’ve known who’s driven a Panamera says they’re good fun. Inside the car is certainly the best place to be—that way, you don’t have to look at the rear. The back end of a Panamera is visually offensive in every way.

The regular Panamera appears to have slimmed down its bubble-butt just a tad, which is fitting, but I’d have to see more footage of it spoiler-down to know for sure if it’s a rear-three-quarters view worth living with. The greenhouse still feels weirdly pinched off in the rear, and its rear sheet metal rump is absurdly high— likely to compensate for the extra length and the need for usable rear seat height.

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The wagon solves this butt-in-the-air problem rather artfully if you don’t look at the side. When the car turns, though, egads. What is that thick hot mess on the D-pillar?

Why, Porsche, why? Visually, that thick blade works about as well as a 944 with its interference timing belt a few teeth off. I’d imagine it creates a nasty blind spot too.

Luckily, other spy shots such as the ones posted earlier this year on Autoblog suggest that this thick D-pillar could be part of the test mule’s camouflage. Let’s hope so.

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The original Panamera Sport Turismo concept was properly pretty, dagnabbit. Here’s hoping that it’s just hiding under some particularly ungainly camouflage.