The real threat on today’s roads comes in the form of delicious, buttery biscuit-confections so hard to resist that they rarely make it home. One Austin police officer encountered this threat on a routine cell phone use stop, where he found that the motorist was trying to call for help because she was choking on a biscuit.

According to KVUE, Officer Dustin Clinkscales of the Austin Police Department sprung into action immediately upon noticing that the driver was choking. He administered the Heimlich maneuver three times on the woman before the chunk of buttery goodness was dislodged.

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Clinkscales’ timing was perfect, as the woman fainted afterwards due the lack of oxygen. The officer caught her head before it hit the ground, saving her from further injury. She was taken to the hospital immediately following the incident.

The woman turned out to be Austin police detective Duncan Dunn’s daughter.

“She’s very thankful. She says she was lucky he was there,” Dunn told KVUE.

The local EMS commended Officer Clinkscales for his swift action and use of a life-saving technique.

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“Had it not been for the quick and exact actions of Officer Clickscales [sic], the patient would have most certainly had a negative outcome.” wrote Austin Travis County EMS captain Holly Craghead in her commendation letter, as quoted by KVUE.

It’s true: had the officer not stopped the woman’s car and dislodged the biscuit, the woman could have lost consciousness while driving, losing control of her car and putting other motorists on the freeway at risk.

Granted, we have some of the best biscuits in the planet that are often filled with all manner of delicious treats like chicken, eggs, sausage, bacon or gravy (good grief, now I’m hungry), but please, resist the urge to snack.

Not only will your car’s interior thank you for not smelling like old eggs and being littered with sumptuous crumbs, but you will be able to focus more on the task of driving. You’re safer on the roads this way, as you’re not trying to split your attention between driving and eating or worse: choking.

Biscuits are an all too terrible, but all too common menace on the roads, and possibly in your car. They’re so delicious, it’s hard to put a biscuit down when you pick one up. Behind the wheel, though, remember that driving comes first. Biscuits should be enjoyed in a safe, stationary location, free of distractions from the road as well as distractions from your breakfast. It’s also harder to spill cream gravy on your seats that way. I’m just sayin’.

Don’t mess with Texas biscuits (in the car).

Photo credit: Austin Police Department/Shutterstock


Contact the author at stef.schrader@jalopnik.com.