The guy who is the Facebook equivalent of Tom of MySpace, Mark Zuckerberg, just had a daughter! She’s named Max, which, we’re told is a nickname. For Maxima. Yes, Maxima. Like the Nissan.

Unconventional, yes. But a weak choice in the grand scheme of Nissan-dom.

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Maxima? Come on, Zuck. Don’t be such a Suckerberg. There’s way better Nissans you could have named your kid after. We want what’s best for your kid, seeing as how all she’ll have to help her in life is all the money, ever.

Since we’re so nice, we put together this list ranking 25 other Nissans you could have named your daughter after.

You’re welcome.

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25. 240SX Zuckerberg

24. Pulsar Zuckerberg

23. GT-R Zuckerberg

22. Juke Zuckerberg

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21. S-Cargo Zuckerberg

20. Homy “GT Limousine” Zuckerberg

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19. Pao Zuckerberg

18. Titan Zuckerberg

17. Ebro Trade Zuckerberg

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16. Frontier Zuckerberg

15. Cherry Zuckerberg

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14. Figaro Zuckerberg

13. Cube Zuckerberg

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12. Navara Zuckerberg

11. Rasheen Zuckerberg

10. Hardbody Truck Zuckerberg

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9. President Zuckerberg

8. Gazelle Zuckerberg

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7. Cedric Zuckerberg

6. Fairlady Zuckerberg

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5. Gloria Zuckerberg

4. Sylphy Zuckerberg

3. Primera Zuckerberg

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2. Serena Zuckerberg

1. Silvia Zuckerberg


Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.