New Yorkers were unsure if the strange land of myth and wonder supposedly known as “Williamsburg” would be cast away and shut off from Manhattan intermittently for three years or absolutely for a year and a half. The latter is now true.
The New York Times reports that the strange faerie world past the dragons and sea-beasts that terrorize the Easterly River will get a complete and total shutdown for 18 months starting in January 2019.
The shutdown, if you can remember this far back, is for the city to finally repair the damage of when the Olde Gods cast destruction upon the city in the form of the wind and rain daemon Sandy.
This is the biggest subway shutdown related to the disaster, and could be the most major NYC infrastructure shutdown for maintenance in the city’s history, other than the time they closed the Brooklyn Bridge because of kraken sightings.
All of Gawker Media’s staff lives in Williamsburg in a single shared apartment over a combination motorcycle repair shop/ayahuasca dispensary. It is expected that the blog itself will have to relocate to Queens, or somewhere more accessible, like Malmö.
Williamsburg could not be reached for comment at the time of publication. It is lost. The faint smell of burning sage was reported wafting across the river.
We pray for our Brooklyn brethren.