Womp, womp. That sad trombone you hear meekly intoning in the background is crippled Japanese automaker Mitsubishi trying to desperately to make it seem as if they're selling cars in the United States. If they spun any harder they'd drill through the earth and pop out in Japan… where people still buy Mitsubishis.

This isn't to pick on the Mitsubishi press people because it's not their fault. It's their job to make it seem as if their lot in life isn't a sad one.

Somewhere down the line bad decisions lead to the brand going from one of the fastest growing Japanese brands to the thank-God-for-Suzuki automaker and the people who made those decisions are probably long gone.

Still, this is just so pathetic. Feel free to use our text annotation feature to pick out the best/worst parts.

MITSUBISHI MOTORS REPORTS 77 PERCENT INCREASE FOR OUTLANDER SPORT SALES IN APRIL

Mitsubishi Motors North America (MMNA) today reported sales of the U.S.-built Outlander Sport achieved a year-over-year sales increase of more than 77 percent in April.

The 2,111 units sold is the third-highest-ever total of Outlander Sport sales in a month and marks the eighth consecutive month of sales increases for the fuel-efficient CUV. Outlander Sport sales are up more than 41 percent year to date.

“We’re particularly pleased with the response to our limited edition Outlander Sport model commemorating 30 years of Mitsubishi sales in the U.S. and 25 years of production in Normal, Illinois,” said MMNA President & CEO Yoichi Yokozawa. “With a starting MSRP of just over $19,000, we feel Outlander Sport is appealing to many customers looking for a crossover with high fuel-efficiency and a vast array of standard features for an attractive price.”

Outlander Sport recently received the "Best All-Around Performance" Award from the Automotive Science Group (ASG) – the organization's top honor – for "best overall performance amongst all model year 2013 crossover SUVs sold in the U.S. market."

Lancer sales were also up, almost 8 percent for the month compared to the prior year and more than 50 percent year to date. The well-equipped and affordably-priced sport sedan was recently recognized as the best overall value in the small sedan vehicle segment by USAA.

There were 127 sales of Mitsubishi’s all-electric i-MiEV in April, compared to 79 sales in April 2012.

Sales of Mitsubishi models currently in production were up more than 30 percent compared to April 2012. However due to discontinued models, total overall Mitsubishi sales were down 15 percent