“Wait, wait, you’re still in the TREE?” And so, we come to the crux of the greatest weather television interview of all time.

Kerry Packer, a man in Austin, Texas, found himself a victim of the torrential rains currently hitting the city. Floodwaters overcame his car, and as it floated along he realized he’d have to get out and grab something to save his life. He grabbed onto a tree, climbed it, and did what any of us would do.

He called his local news station, Austin’s ABC affiliate KVUE.

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Unaware that he’s still in the tree, local KVUE anchors ask how Packer and his wife are doing. Packer goes details how the flood waters snuck up on him and swept him about half a mile, before jumping out of his window and climbing up a tree. “So I’m up about 20 feet in a tree right now,” he adds.

“What?!” comes the response, which is weirdly enough what we’re all thinking. “What are you, what, uh, are you okay? How’s your energy, you’ve been there quite some time?”

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“Oh no, I’m fine,” Packer assures us. “Thankfully this is the nicest tree here. It’s a little cold, but I did Boy Scouts for 20 years, so I know how to keep my energy up and keep warm, so I’m doing fine.”

The other anchor then asks whether or not he sees any help, or if anyone’s coming to his rescue, or if, you know, there’s any land just hanging around Packer and his tree.

But no, it’s nothing but water, for as far as the eye can see.

The interview basically continues like that for a while, with the anchors becoming increasingly dismayed and incredulous, before just sort of leaving it with a bit of a prayer for Packer.

Anyways, as of this writing, Packer is still in that tree.

Prayers up for Packer.


Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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