Back in March at the New York Auto Show, Toyota announced that the all-new 2014 Highlander would have an "exciting partnership" with with Nickelodeon and SpongeBob Squarepants. We didn't know what they meant at the time. Today however, we do — it's the worst acid trip of your entire life made real and tangible.
Meet the SpongeBob 2014 Toyota Highlander. It's a one-off (Oh, thank you, God) concept vehicle that Toyota will debut at tomorrow's Padres vs. Giants game in San Diego.
The Spongemobile hits the road for a "Happy Driving!" tour across the U.S. at various equally horrifying, appropriately Hell-on-Earth locations and events including the Nickelodeon Suites Resort, the Mall of America in Minnesota, and Baltimore. (Kidding on the last one. I actually really dig Baltimore. Parts of it, anyway.)
So Toyota decked out a Highlander in SpongeBob decor. That's fine. Good for them. The exterior is definitely loud, but that interior... that interior... gazing upon it is like submerging your eyeballs in a bath of liquid pain so intense, it will make you beg for death. I'm tempted to roofie myself to try and forget it, but I'm not confident enough that it would work. Some things you can't ever un-see.
I'm sure the thousands of children who see this car will love it. For anyone else — adults, people with taste, people with eyesight, etc. — try not to stare directly at it.