It's the mid-1990s. Alfa Romeo is clinging to life in the U.S. They need people to buy their 164 sedan instead of some dumb old Honda or Saab. How are they gonna do it? With the kind of music you hear when you're on hold with your health insurance company. 

This video is a collection of 164 ads from the good old days before they bowed out of the American market, and they're cheesy but fun. The "What do the Europeans know that we don't?" line makes me laugh every time. Yeah, be more like the Europeans, you stupid, classless Americans! 

The second one is great because it actually highlights how awesome it is to drive a stick. When was the last time you saw that in an ad? Of course, it has the giant "automatic transmission available" disclaimer at the bottom. Wouldn't want people to get scared off by something TOO European, if you know what I mean. 

The third one is a hoot too, because it has testimonials from supposedly real 164 owners who say how amazing the car is. I don't doubt that. I'd also love to hear testimonials from them a few years later when they bitch about what an unreliable nightmare the car was to own. From what I've read, the 164 was more dependable than other Alfas, but that's not saying much.

I don't care though. I'd buy one of these. It's about as sexy as a boxy, front-wheel-drive sedan gets, and it's probably a lot of fun if you can find a decent one. Any current or previous 164 owners care to sound off?