GIF via YouTube

Before he introduced middle America to donkey sauce, Food Network’s walking flashback to 2001 Guy Fieri was pitching Flowmaster mufflers. Everyone knows that you can’t have an on-air drop-top cruise for Cincinnati’s best-kept-secret chili spot unless you tricked out your Camaro with sweet pulleys ‘n’ flows.

Fieri feels a bit stilted here, but then again, this is before Food Network decided to slather Guy’s kickin’ secret magic all over a good half of their programming and bake it at 350 degrees. Either way, it’s bizarre to see Fieri not describing this in a tricked-out barrage of mom-appropriate adjectives guaranteed to light your tastebuds on fire.

One thing that has baffled me with these old commercials is Flowmaster’s unwillingness to leverage Fieri’s personal style to sell more stuff. Even in this commercial for American muscle exhausts, Fieri looks uncomfortably professional, yet no set of cars is more associated with the kind of aging Classic Cruise-In demographic the Washington Post hits up for advice on millenials.


Guy’s signature boo-yah Hawaiian shirts and flashback gelled up tips proudly proclaim, “Car Guys who still envision ‘yer lady’ as a cupholder, I am with you, and I shall wisk you away from this Back to the Sixties Meet to a Flavor Town for your ears.”

[H/T BangShift!]