Garfield Causes $473,000 Accident, Still Hates Mondays

Most of us suspected that Garfield, the morbidly obese, lasagna-obsessed fictitious cat, secretly wished harm on us all. This suspicion has been confirmed by a New Jersey jury yesterday, who found that a stuffed Garfield hanging from the rearview mirror was a factor in an accident that severely injured a woman.

The accident, which happened in 2006, involved the driver making a lane change in his 1998, Garfield-equipped Mustang and not seeing the victim crossing the street. The accident caused multiple injuries to the woman, who remained disabled until she passed of natural causes in 2010.

Yesterday's decision in a New Jersey awarded $378,000 to the victim's estate, and $95,000 to her husband, who had to care for her after the accident. The jury found the driver negligent, and the well-obscured windshield was determined to be a partial cause.

Why a person would want to drive while constantly facing a swaying, hanging Garfield was not addressed. Perhaps as a constant reminder that "diet" is just "die" with a "t" on it? Or the cruel, cruel state of being not overweight, but undertall?

Regardless, a good lesson here is to keep crap out of that big window in the front. Even if it's a fake cat you find hilarious.