When was the last time you saw any ‘sport’ expressed in a ‘sport utility?’ Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe X5 has BMW’s silky six and—surprisingly—a six speed stick behind it! Let’s see if this sporty wagon also sports a price tag you could get behind.


Back in the ‘80s the CBS news program 60 Minutes nearly killed off Audi in the U.S. with a poorly researched segment suggesting the brand’s cars took off on their own like the daddy in a blues song. That’s all in the past now, and in fact few of you were racing to give props to yesterday’s 1987 Audi 4000CS Quattro, as its $4,750 price tag fell in a 68% Crack Pipe loss.

That was mostly owed to the prospective cost and difficulty in repairing all the ancient tech that comes with the car, but also... well, it was just damned old.


Hey, I’m sorry about all the German rides of late. I just finished watching The Man in the High Castle and I guess I’m a little obsessed with Das Vaterland at the moment. If you are amenable, we’ll do just one more.

Here we have for your consideration a 2004 BMW X5. Now, it should be noted that BMW developed the X5 at the time when the company owned Land Rover, and the Bimmer wagon and its contemporary Range Rover brother share a few systems and parts under the skinny-skin-skin. Don’t however, hold that against the X5!

Perhaps most notably, the cars share the hill descent system between them, and both have a funky split tailgate design that makes the forward-most part of the hatch space a bridge too far for shorter folks.


These wagons also shared a lot of parts with BMW’s E39 5-series, including in this car’s case a 227-bhp M54B30 inline six. Behind that is a six-speed stick. Yes, at over two-tons of ultimate driving machine those 227 horses aren’t going to feel like much of a stampede, but shoot, you get six gears to keep you amused while you’re waiting for them to build up a head of steam.

Well actually, you’ll probably only ever use five of those gears because first gear is a stump puller only useful for torturing amputees getting out of mucky places you probably shouldn’t be in your nice shiny BMW.



This one does appear to be nice and shiny. At least on the outside. The interior is pretty nice too, although it lacks the severe gallon coating of ArmorAll that yesterday’s Audi offered. The silver over grey truck looks to have held up well over its 11 years and 131,000 miles of life.

The non-sport driver’s seat does show some wear on the outer cheek, but other than that it’s all seemingly good in there. Also the burlwood looks pretty and warms up the Bangle’s Angles austerity of the interior design. Out back, there’s one of those carpet-protecting rubber mats that are proudly made in the U.S., just like this Bimmer.

On the outside there doesn’t seem to be anything amiss. No rust, questionable wheel choices, or back-window stick figure families here. And seeing as this is a BMW, I’ll bet the turn signal bulbs are like brand new!

The seller says that the wagon ‘runs perfect’ and has ‘no problems what so ever.’ What he doesn’t say is, with 131K on the clock how much life is left in the clutch. How are the struts and other expensive consumables holding up? One man’s perfect could be another’s pit of despair.


If you’re willing to take an imaginary gamble, let’s now consider the proc tag on this big Bimmer. The asking price is $7,500, and honestly, there just aren’t that many stick shifters out there that I can find against which to compare.

What’s your take on this somewhat sporty utility and its $7,500 price? Does that seem like a deal on what appears to be a lightly-used X5 with a stick? Or, does that price for this Bimmer simply not werke?


You decide!

Boston Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.


H/T to Sam in Beantown for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your Kinja handle.