Every year, the car aftermarket descends upon Las Vegas for SEMA to show off the most customized vehicles possible in an effort to self-advertise their products. I say this just so you get a sense of how hard Chevrolet phoned it in with their display.

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To be more clear: Chevrolet does not need to be at SEMA. Chevrolet, by its very definition, is not an aftermarket company. It is the market. It is the definition of the market. Even so, Chevrolet could take this opportunity to show how hip and cool they are with a very custom vehicle, or use SEMA as a chance to show how much aftermarket-like custom equipment normal people can get for their bowtie-brand vehicles right off the showroom floor.

Nah.

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They’re showing what they call a pair of “Blue Line” concepts. I am writing this because if I did not tell you that these were concept vehicles, you would have no idea they were not just, like, normal-ass Chevrolets pulled out of a dealership down the street.

Here is their Cruz RS hatchback:

Here is their Malibu sedan:

I can tell you are trembling with excitement. What could Chevrolet done to these cars to make them worthy of attending SEMA? Are they hiding V8 swaps under the hood? Are they secret self-driving prototypes? Do the have eight gazillion watt subwoofers mounted directly in the seats, powerful enough to levitate you if you play any Gucci Mane?

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Nah. They have nice paint, almost-unnoticeable side skirts and spoilers, and sporty suspension and exhaust mods.

Neat.