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Clarkson Drives Audi S3, Visits Ice Station Impossible

Ol' JC spins a tale of finding himself stuck somewhere eight miles high in Canada at an abandoned weather station with a guy named Halli, an uncultured Icelandic type who, from the sound of Clarkson's fabulous hyperbole, undoubtedly rebuild a drawbridge with nothing but a found crate of Doublemint foil wrappers, the soldering flux he invariably carries in his pocket and a fake Zippo bought at Keflavik International. Jezza also goes on about the Audi S3, which he doesn't much care for. He also says the RS 3 is two years away. What, praytell, will power that wee beastie?

Audi S3 [Times, UK]

Related:
Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi RS4 - He Said Supercar, He Said 'Meh' Edition - Part 1 [Internal]

2:45 PM on Wed May 16 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
1,485 views
12 comments

Comments

  • Does Clarkson like ANYTHING? The Audi already has the V6 3.2 with Quattro, I should know because I have one. What an idiot.

  • A 400HP TwinCharger I5 mounted behind the driver.

  • @no_slushbox: You might have well said a flux capacitor. Nothing like either will ever get stuffed in an Audi compact.

  • @Downtown Joe: I wouldn't be surprized if the RS3 had a turbo I5, but I am dreaming when it comes to the engine location.

  • I'd like to see a 4.2L V8 in the RS3.   ;-)

  • The I5 would actually make sense in the Audi. More than in the Veedubs.

  • rsrtampa you have an A3 then right? 4 doors? The S3 as far as I know only comes with the hopped up 2.0T and it's not available in NA, with 2 doors.

    An RS3 would do the trick. I love my A3 but too imagine the 4.2 V8 in that little car makes me shake with excitement

  • @no_slushbox: I would love for this to be true... I guess we'll just have to wait.

  • @m42r: no I5 makes sense in any vehicle. It's a rough unbalanced engine by nature. If you don't feel that the 2.0T is enough power for you, there are ways to squeeze even more out of it, or of course the 3.2 V6 will fit.

    Clarkson mistakenly indicates that there's a chance to slip in a 4.2l V8 -- not a chance. And while Clarkson is rather anti-turbo, unfortunately the V6 of the R32 doesn't satisfy me as much. Sure, the V6 is a sweet engine, with lovely instant response, but it also drinks more and weighs more. The problem with stuffing any big engine into a FWD chassis like the A3 is that the front end just gets heavier -- which means more understeer. quattro helps, but doesn't solve the problem.

    A nose-heavy car like the A3/S3 can be improved in one of four ways:

    1) Buy an A5, coming soon to a dealer near you.
    2) Buy a RWD Porsche or BMW, already available at a dealer near you.
    3) always put your passenger in the back
    4) stuff the engine midships where it belongs (Renault Clio V6, anyone?)

    Enjoy the car as it is. The S3 is the perfect commuter car, even if it won't lap Nurburgring as fast as bigger, more expensive cars, and even if it has to make due with an International Engine of the Year under the hood. >

  • Image of Jonny Lieberman Jonny Lieberman at 11:09 PM on 05/16/07 *

    @my favorite car is a motorcycle: Hang on now, son.

    They got the 4.2 into the RS4 (the good 4.2).

    The entire engine is ahead of the front axles.

    Very cars handle as well.

    Further more, "they" are cramming 7.0-liters into Solstices.

    Nothing is impossible.

  • Yummy.

  • @jonnylieberman:
    the A4/S4/RS4 engine is longitudinal, like that of the Solstice. All of these models would benefit from a substantial weight bias change to the aft - as noted by every experienced driver who has driven one back-to-back with a Ferrari, Porsche, or BMW. The Audis are fantastic sports sedans for the road, just not well balanced sportscars on the track.

    In the A3/S3, the engine is transverse, so unless you intend to replace the entire driveline, you've got to mate your V-8 to this front drive axle and Haldex clutch:
    www.technolab.org/Bilder/pic-hako/Pic-cutaway/Hako1241.JPG
    Without major structural modifications, I don't see how you'd easily do it -- the engine would either be too far forward or too high to be practical.

    Stuffing the LS2 V-8 into the Mallett Solstice is relatively easier; they widened the track by 4 inches, installed a heavy duty clutch to the standard RWD drivetrain, bolted up the massive engine, and called it good. Impressive to see how nicely they fit it all in, too:
    www.weblogsinc.com/common/images/3060000000052190.JPG

    Alas, while the Mallett's V8 is low and as aft as possible, it's still got inadequate weight over the driving tires. Power is nothing without control and balance. So what's the point of a car that is an absolute terror to drive? Please call Mallett for a test drive and confirm this for us -- we'd like to hear how quickly you vaporize the rear tires.

    So yeah, it's possible. You can put a V-8 in anything if you try hard enough. Will Audi or anyone else do it on the S3? I'll wager not. I'm much more interested in seeing the RS5.

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