I always liked the "reverse hood scoop" used on the Chevelle back in the 70's (?). Not only did it look cool, it actually worked, accessing the slightly higher pressure air in front of the windshield.

I am partial to the first gen viper's "hood is the entire front end of the car and it costs more than a new corolla to replace" deformity. I also like cowhorns on '70s Cadillacs.

@TR3-A: I second that motion...although I do believe that it was at least post 1967 when it came out. (at least the 68 & 69 had it.)

I always thought the "vents" on the Grand Cherokee 5.9 always looked kinda neat, despite being non-functional.

Remember the hood bump on eagle talons and DSM eclipses? I remember some turdhat said it was to make room for the turbo, and too which I promptly replied "Have you ever looked under the hood of a car before?"

Jonny, are you drunk? I've got the halloween hangover from hell and it looks like I wrote your post. a) I think it's "pen to paper." b) tore by. Oh, and all of the fake blood I had on my face didn't come off, so I'm pink. Very pink.

Anyway, now that I'm done being a dick, I'll get on topic here. The WRX hood scoop is great! Whenever I drive one, I feel like I'm PacMan, scooting around trying to gobble up potato chips or whatever those things were. Not to mention the flat-four growl definitely sounds like a hungry beast.

And yes, hood tachs are excellent. I want an illuminated hood ornament that changes color with rpm. Some day. Some day.

Aw hell. My post got deleted. Jonny: a) pen to paper. b) tore by.

WRX hood scoops are wonderful. So are hood tachs.

@Speedie: Thanks, Speedie, I knew it was around that time.

@TR3-A: is that not 'cowel' induction? Or am i thinking of something else? I agree with you on that point though.

@snep: I was like twelve and someone said that to me and i believed them. then i looked under the hood of a car.

As for coolest hood thing...does the ornament on a Rolls count? The one that retracts when you park the car?

My El Camino has a temp gauge strapped to the hood because I couldn't bring myself to put any holes in the dash.

I like scoops in general, my favorite being shakers.

The "reverse hood sccop" found on the Chevelles is called cowl induction. My dad's '72 SS Chevelle has functional cowl induction... functional and very cool looking. put me down for two. you see it on a lot of aftermarket trucks now, but i doubt that they are functional.

What about hood pins?

I mean, sure the rice rockets now have the stick on kind from Pep Boys or whatever, but when legit, they certainly imply all hell can break loose! No time to worry about loosing a hood while cruising at 150+ mph.

@cgraham: I vote that it counts. It's pretty much on top of the car and in front of the windshield. I vote it's close enough (even though I probably don't get a vote).

@CGRAHAM it is cowl induction.

I liked my WRX hood scoop, although as my cars get faster, they have fewer hood scoops. Unless I get a Z06.

I vote for snorkel on a Defender or some such.

Screaming. Chicken.

three words: pop. up. headlights. I miss my 240sx every day for this reason alone. They tend to impart so much personality, and the switch to make them pop up or down whenever you want... I always wanted to rig the switch so that only one would pop up when i hit the switch (so I could "wink" at girls across the intersection... with my car..... yeah)

The bulges required to clear the strut towers on the first-gen Ford Probe...
[static.howstuffworks.com]
[upload.wikimedia.org]
Can you believe it was supposed to replace the Mustang?

oh I forgot the pop-up head lights on the Probe! Cool until one breaks and you have a winking car!

@WorkingOnYourInvoice: Oop! some folks consider winking cars a babe magnet...

My fave is the monster scoop on the `55 Chevy in Two Lane Blacktop

Speed Holes is the only cromulent answer.

I always dug the offset functional hood scoop on the Mustang SVO.

Louvers

DAVETHEBRAVE
Took the words right out of my mouth. What was Ford thinking?

The newest trend in ugly hood deformities seems to be blended in rally lights:

My search for hood deformities also came up with this, which would seem like a solution to the WRX hood scoop problem:

Although it's more of a skin condition than a deformity I will have to go with the Trans Am's screaming chicken. In gold please.

My GTO has a factory hood tach on it, which is cool (the first "heads up display", but I believe AMC had a hood that mounted a full set of gauges on the hood that you could see through the windshield.

Still, my favorite is the "Air Grabber" on a '70 Road Runner, which popped up out of the center of the hood when you pulled a cable, and it had a shark face on each side that looked like the nose art on a WWII bomber.

I like the old school look of the fuel pressure and oil temp gauges mounted on the rear edge of a bracket racers, like a'68 Nova. The electronic sending units have pretty much done away with that stuff, but it was cool back in the day.
I also like proper heat extraction vents and reverse scoops for V mounted radiators. Anything that helps relieve the high pressure zone under the hood is good with me, yes even the vents on the upper fenders of the new GM products (Grand Prix and Escalades to name a couple) They are functional and I think even most Jalops don't recognize why they are there.

@Speedie: Hood pins, yup. I had them on my TR3-A... of course that was mainly because the hood latch was busted and the pins were cheaper than trying to repair it. They looked really cool though.
"Cowel induction?" I think that is what it was called but since then, it has become a sort of generic term, I have seen it applied to all sorts of hood scoops and cold air induction systems.

Shaker...

@no_slushbox: Those are removeable light pods for rallying, not anything blended to the hood. Those are fully functional and are definitely NOT a deformity!!

turn signal indicators out on the leading edge of each fender.

they are actually useful (beats the hell out of those glaring LED's in Suburban sideview mirrors - I mean, really, nice thought, but how many Suburban drivers have EVER used a mirror in their lives?) plus a shiny bit to balance the ubitquious hood ornament and perfect to catch those errant strands of blue polypropylene from 70's era automated car washes.

+1 on the screaming chicken.

If we can vote for the worst, it's easily the useless plastic filled scoop on V6 Mustangs.

I think the scoops over the tires on the superbird are pretty bitch'n. Especially because Plymouth lied when they said that they were for tire clearance. In actuality, they are there to relieve tire pressure that builds up in the wheel wells at hire speeds.

My '69 Mach 1 had turn signals in back of the smaller hood scoop (not the shaker) that made all the girls squeal. I love lights on cars and those were a very pleasant surprise when I bought the car.

Nice big cowl induction lump for muscle cars. From Jalopnik's own Billetproof coverage:
[jalopnik.com]

That, or a massive blower.

@abgwin: not to mention they let you know the proximity of the outer corners of the hood. Extremely important while driving a land yacht.

The talk about the screaming chickens reminded me of another cool contender... the turbo boost indicator lights on late 2nd gen Trans Ams!!

@abgwin: The LED turn signals in SUV mirrors are not visible by the driver inside the vehicle.

Hemi 'cuda hoodscoop.

Seriously badass.

@no_slushbox:
Poor likkle blue beastie. Poor thing has bottomed out at the front. If you will pardon my unfortunate choice of phrase. Such vehicular abuse to ought to be outlawed.
My eyes. They hurt.

i think a lump in the hood to accommodate a protruding engine bit can be a winner. especially when it is only on one side of a hood.
this doesn't count but i love the old japanese cars that would have the rearview mirrors mounted halfway down the fender edge. that looks badass.

@squablow: If you're thinking of the Rebel Machine, it was only the tach under a huge, ugly cowl on the hood.

@Xman: Most of the things we are talking about here (i.e. hood tachs, cowl induction, the WRX intercooler scoop) are functional, but that doesn't mean they aren't deformities. On actually rally cars maybe that much aerodynamic cowling is needed behind the driving lights, but for every rally racer there will be 10 posers.

Also, I can believe I put that second picture up. I thought it was a good example of a hood deformity, but if I keep seeing it I'm going to gouge my eyes out soon.

Recalling the recent topic of wings, my vote goes to the front-mounted wing on certain Countaches.

The stick-on plastic bonnet vents frequently seen glued to Mk 4 Ford Escorts with green neon lights underneath.

A bright green 1.3 Escort on 17s, with an hilarious spoiler, stick-on vents and a stereo more powerful than the engine makes a Facel Vega look like a piece 'o shit.

Or does it?
Or does it?

@LTDScott: Actually, I concur. This or the shaker.

@apuesto: Leave me alone.

@abgwin:
And have you ever seen a Suburban/Taho/Trailblazer driver use turn signals, anyway?
I vote for the hood louvers on the Jaguar E Type.
Look down through them and admire the polished aluminum while bathing in the heat!

@Mad_Science: Ha! There you go: a massive GMC blower with a "bug catcher" injection unit on top. A real crowd pleaser but the cops don't like it for street use, they get you for obstructing forward vision. They're no fun.

Geez, for a simple subject, we sure got a lot of responses.

I liked the early GTO non-functional scoops, those are probably my favorites. I think they were aesthetically pleasing. The screaming chicken and the shaker scoop are good ones. The tick toc tach was a good one.

I do believe "Cowl Induction" is correct for the Chevelle SS.

I always liked the fiber-optic fender mounted turn signal indicators too.

@Andrewpetty: Close, but no cigar. If you're going to attack the Viper, go for the plain-as-day "hood speaker" vent thingamabobs up by the windshield. Not even Viper owners can figure them out.

[en.wikipedia.org]
NACA Ducts!