Back when we were the head of our undergrad art/lit publication, somebody always ended up getting a story or poem into the book because he or she happened to be sleeping with one of the staffers during the selection process. The most egregious of these pieces was entitled "Beware Yohar," and we shall reproduce it for you below:

Beware Yohar

There are things in the sand

where you stand.

Beware Yohar

The sand is slipping

and tripping at your feet.

Beware Yohar

Ahead of you

is hope and fear.

Behind you

lies memory and regret.

Look Down Yohar

Here, Now,

Look Down

We're sorry to subject you to the near-Vogon quality of verse, but when we saw that a man named Johan Jacobs just became the holder of the South African Land Speed Record at 509km/h (316.277mph), and hopes to set a 1-mile world acceleration record, we couldn't help but think of old Yohar. And giggle. A lot.

SA's Land Speed Record Tumbles [Motoring.co.za]

Related:
North American Eagle Still Set to Break Land Speed Record [Internal]