Why you shouldn t buy this car: If you grew up with Pong rather than Playstation, BMW s flagship luxobarge is not for you. You won t be able to manipulate the iDrive mouse controller without consulting your children — who should stay in their damn seats and not try to prove that they re smarter than you. The sedan s also not much of a looker. You d be forgiven for kicking her out of bed for eating crackers. No surprise, then, that the 7 s image is a bit tarnished these days — although the model s cliff-face depreciation is par for the course.

Why you should buy this car: If you like to drive fast, and like to drive big, the new, more highly-horsed 7-Series is a phenomenal way to scoot from point A to point B with plenty of leather-lined elbow-room.

(Quite why BMW restricts the natural born autobahn bomber to 150mph is a mystery lost in the mists of 70 s-era environmentalism.) It s the safe and relaxing way to lose your license.

Sutibility Parameters:
Speed Merchants: Yes
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: Yes
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: Yes
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: Yes
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes

Vitals:
Manufacturer: BMW
Model tested: 750i
Model year: 2006
Price as Tested: $79,140
Engine type: 4.8-liter V8
Horsepower: 360 @ 6300 hp
Torque: 360 @ 3400 lb-ft
Redline: 6200 rpm
Wheels and Tires: 245/50R-18 (optional 19 )
Drive type: Rear-wheel-drive
0 - 60: 5.8 seconds
1/4 mile: na
Top speed: 150mph (electronically limited)
Fuel economy city/highway: 12 / 15 mpg
NHTSA crash test rating front/side/rollover: not tested

[by Robert Farago]

Related: Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 BMW 750i, Part 1, Part 2 [internal]