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retro
Hot Rod Hooligans Rip '60 Buicks, Make Getaway In Chicken Truck: The Choppers!
The ringleader drives a T-bucket with six pots, and the gang earns their bread strippin' the squares' sleds. Welcome to 1961's The Choppers! More » -
recovering cars via asdic
Bloong...Bloong...Buddy Holly...Blong!
Inexplicably, Lubbock, Texas has somewhat of a magical reputation. It gave us Buddy Holly, Waylon Jennings and Sonny Curtis (who penned the second-greatest song Hüsker Dü ever covered and the most famous song the Clash ever covered). Things are said to appear in the sky. And now the Lubbock PD is using sonar to find stolen vehicles in area lakes. Who can turn Lubbock-area theft victims on with a ping? They're gonna make it after all. [Houston Chronicle] -
smooth criminal
Thief Steals and Re-Steals Porsche
Malaysian authorities are no doubt rather sounding shamefaced yawps over a bungle involving a recovered Porsche. A thief absconded with the German sports car and proceeded to run out of gas, at which point the police recovered the vehicle and towed it to a station. The miscreant then braved the not-so-watchful eye of the law, showed up with a gas can and once again took off in the car. He abandoned it once again when roadblocks were set up looking for him and remains at large. [Thanks to eltonito for the tip.] [Reuters] -
down underwater
Georges River Auto Extraction Operation on Hiatus
Police divers on the Georges River in Sydney have taken a break after recovering 36 cars dumped in the waterway. New tactics are required to remove the remaining 24 vehicles which are embedded deeper in the mire than a bhat fly in a Peace Corps worker's forehead. 23 of the extracted machines have been confirmed stolen prior to their arrival in their watery grave. Meanwhile, we like to imagine the Australian Schwimmpolizei sitting around the barbie, sipping beers and cranking the brothers Van Halen. That's what off-duty Australian cops do, right? [ABC, AU] -
where women glow and men plunder
Unfortunate, Unnatural Reef
While the Land Down Under is famous for its Great Barrier Reef, another, lesser, freshwater reef is being dismantled by the po-po in Bankstown. Ne'er-do-wells have been dumping car carcasses into the Georges River via a launch ramp, and the estimated 60 cars in that area of the waterway could pose a navigational hazard to watercraft. Police divers have attached bouys to the underwater carcasses and are planning to use all manner of trickery to extricate the vehicles from Davey Jones' sock drawer. More » -
there are bigger fish to fry
Bait Cars Entrapment?
We've gone on record numerous times supporting the use of bait cars to snare those who would deprive us of our vehicles and/or other belongings. Now a lawyer in Florida is crying foul, saying that Daytona Beach's bait car program is tantamount to entrapment. Would somebody fire and/or disbar this guy, please? While there are plenty of laws and police tactics we don't approve of, bait car programs are pretty cut and dried ways of catching criminals in the act. Move along, Mister Barrister. Nothing to see here. More » -
manitoba's wild kingdom
Insurer Wants to Cut Winnipeg Theft
The Handsome Dicks at Manitoba Public Insurance have issued a mandate — if you're a Winnipegger (or commute into the city) and your car is on a list vehicles deemed a theft risk, your policy is toast unless you install a microchip immobilizer in your vehicle's ignition system. The Feds of Canadia are mandating such devices on all new vehicles sold, beginning September 1st. On the other hand, MPI is only mandating the devices for Winnipeg-associated cars and trucks. Still, what's gonna keep crooks from breaking in and jacking your Propagandhi or Weakerthans discs, eh? More » -
get lost, punk!
Jersey Man Horks GPS Units, Now He's Found
A friend of ours who owns a pretty serious exotic IM'd us last night asking advice on shitboxes. She wants a high-mileage econobox as a runabout. We suggested the Fit (as we're loath to recommend the Prius to anyone we like — nobody wants asshole friends, after all), but she was bummed by the lack of satnav. We suggested getting the Fit and going aftermarket. After all, none of our serious rallying pals rely on beforemarket nav systems, and Alex Roy has been known to use three or four at once. Apparently, Jorge Bonillapatino of Lawrence, NJ, is of the same mind as Herr Roy. He'd allegedly jacked nav units out of a number of cars in Plainsboro, Garden State. Then the cops caught up to him. Good luck navigating your way out of this one, Jorge. More » -
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maybe you can hire...the a-team
We Pity The Fool Who Starts Up a Chop Shop
The A-Team take down a chop shop and a crooked used car salesman with extreme prejudice, all in the name of helping out their pal ex-con pal Davey. Face takes one to the, well, er, face, Hannibal turns himself out as a limo-shoppin' rock 'n' roll mogul, B.A. is his usual William Butler Yeatsian self, and Murdock? Well, Murdock's just howlin' mad. And yes, of course the plan comes together. It is a Stephen J. Cannell production, after all. More post-jump. More » -
news
Camino Lust: Cadillac Escalade EXT is Nation's Most Stolen Vehicle
Another day, another Dan Lienert list in my inbox. Only this time he didn't write it. Wait, that's not fair. Dan wrote the article, but he based it on the findings of the Highway Loss Data Institute (HLDI). They study all sorts of stuff, including who steals what sort of car and how often. Turns out the the Escalade EXT — perfectly described by PJ O'Rourke as "how my El Camino would dress if it had to marry Liza Minnelli" — is the car that gets pilfered most frequently. Not just most frequently, but much more frequently than the next most stolen vehicle. See, your average car (let's just assume a Camry) gets a theft rating from the HLDI of 100. The second most commonly jacked car is the BMW 7-Series with an HLDI score of 431. That means the big-butted Bimmer gets thieved just over four times more than your average ride. David Gest's pickup's score? 1,728. Our advice to you? Don't take your Escalade EXT to Las Vegas. Nice to see Cadillac back on top. More » -
auto theft
Grand Theft Southwest: Your Car is Leaving Las Vegas
Why is that cowboy hitching a ride? Because most likely his car's been stolen. Last year, 22,441 vehicles were stolen in and around Las Vegas. Which makes it the #1 place in the USA for such cruel activity. Which somehow makes Oscar Goodman proud. At first blush you might think, "Well, they're close enough to Los Angeles. Thieves can blast out to the desert, take their pick from over thirty different Bentleys with spinners and they make the Kessel Run back home before sun up." But you'd be (mostly) wrong. For if you look at the next four cities on the list — Stockton CA, Visalia-Porterville CA, Phoenix-Mesa-Scottsdale AZ and the former, three-time consecutive car-theft champion, Modesto CA — the reason becomes clear. Crystal Meth, and lots of it. We just got off the horn with Bakersfield. They're bummed they didn't make the list, but promise to try harder next year. More » -
news
San Francisco Smash 'n' Grabs
Where're Mike Stone and Steve Keller when you need them? While we undoubtedly have left our heart in San Francisco — something that becomes increasingly clear after every passing year we're not in the Bay Area — one thing we don't miss about Baghdad by the Bay is the absolutely nutso propensity of crooks to break into one's car. We've lived in less-than-savory parts of town before, and the only time we've had our car broken into was in SF. Five times in ten years. And three of those were within the space of eight months. But we don't come alone. We are fire, we are stone, and there are at least 15,776 vehicles in SF that feel the same way. And how many people does the SFPD have on the auto detail? Five. Yes. Five. San Francisco, we love you, but really, fuck you. You DPT us to death and then do nothing when our cars get vandalized. We wish we had a more polite response, but well, we just don't. More » -
news
Austin, TX Cops to Get Bait Cars
Presumably flush with cash in the wake of SXSW, Austin's announced that they're handing the po-po's $85k for bait cars. Jalopnik's favorite Texan city — and indeed one of its favorite cities in general — has decided that it's time for the hand of law to come down on those who make haste with another man's vehicle, and as such the APD feels it's in need of enforcement downtown between First and Seventh Streets. Which makes a boatload of sense, given the mass of vehicles that congregate down there, especially late in the week. We just always stuffed it and parked in a lot. Compared to San Francisco or LA, it's dirt cheap. More » -
news
Camry Key Party
So here's your classic 'If the key fits, it must be my car' case of mistaken identity, as a woman in Ohio inadvertently finds the key to her Camry fits someone else's similar-looking Camry. The article makes the event seem like a hit-by-meteorite bit of randomness, but in my personal experience you don't have to try many keys from the right era to unlock a pre-1990 Japanese car (try using an 80s Honda or Toyota key on random cars next time you're at the junkyard and you'll see what I mean). This is why kill switches for older Japanese cars should be considered a must-have. More » -
news
Watch Your Doors: Security Snafu Puts Mazda3 Models at Risk
Here's one from the how'd-they-figure-that-out file. It seems a number of Mazda 3 owners in Canada have reported being victims of a super-secret way to get into their cars. Apparently, if you put a large enough dent in the side of a Mazda3, it unlatches the door and fools the computer into thinking the entry's legit. Thus, sledgehammer-wielding thieves have been relieving car owners of their possessions with relative ease. According to a Mazda source, the company's known about the problem since last October, and is working up countermeasures. In the meantime, don't believe that guy in a leopard loincloth and handlebar mustache lurking around the parking lot with a giant mallet. He may be up to no good. [Thanks to R. for the tip.] More » -
news
Towing Corruption in Tennessee
Buddy Frazier, Jr., owner of of Chattanooga, TN's Absolute Towing and Recovery, has been busted on numerous counts of auto theft as well as charges relating to running "a shady business," according to Chattanooga authorities. Frankly, every tow yard we've ever dealt with seemed like a shady business to us. We hope they convict you and throw away the key, Frazier. It's punks like you who've ruined it for reputable, fair and decent tow-yard operators everywhere. Then again, we've never met one of those, so we're not quite sure they exist. More » -
news: weird
Russian Gang Uses Strippers to Steal Cars
As a public service note to our readers, we offer you the following security tip. If you happen to be driving through Moscow and run across three naked, attractive gamines washing each other on a public, man-made beach, feel free to stop and watch. But make sure you lock your car first, as the scene could well be a ruse to drop your jaw while nefarious rapscallions abscond with your vehicle. Seriously. They ganked like dozens of cars like this in one fell swoop. More » -
news
We Love the Smell of Recovered Vehicles in the Morning: Robert Duvall Busts Auto Theft Ring in Vegas
There are at least three guys who won't be going surfing for a while due to the efforts of Lt. Robert Duvall of the LVPD. The Sin City cop and his cohorts busted an auto theft ring and recovered 1.9 million bucks worth of stolen vehicles. The thieves are implicated in at least eight carjackings, plus a number of threats carried out by less-violent means. We just wanna know if they thundered in to the crime scene with sirens wailing and "Ride of the Valkyries" blaring over the PA system. That'd be hot. More » -
news
Acura Integras Still Being Stolen
We remember two years ago, when our Dodge was stolen in SF and recovered in Oakland, riding through the massive tow yard with two other guys. One had had his 5.0 Mustang yanked from his driveway in Cupertino and lost his brakes, blower, cylinder heads and intake manifold. Unbelievably, the other victim with us was even more unfortunate. His Integra was missing the front clip, motor, trans and seats. Plus, his wheels had been replaced with steelies so the crooks could easily dump his car. According to a survey by CCC, the Integra still remains a popular theft target, while the soon-to-be-discontinued RSX didn't even make the the top 20 on the list. Is there a correlation? More » -
news
Freakin' French-Canadians: Auto Theft Rings in Quebec
First they spring Celine Dion on us, and now this bit of disturbing news out of Quebec. While here in the United States we have a 67% stolen-vehicle recovery rate, in Canada, it's a staggering 2%. And Canadian gangs of thieves are targeting American-registered vehicles, re-vinning them, and in many cases, selling the cars right back into the USA or shipping them overseas. It's an especially big problem in Montreal due to the tourist industry, and in some cases, the cars are actually ordered by overseas customers. Jean-Claude, un jeune Range Rover, merci? More » -
news
Staten Island Coke-Fiend Car-Heister Apprehended
28-year-old Anthony Giovanniello lent credence to the borough of Staten Island's "Don't Ever Come Here" motto by absconding with 11 motor vehicles and selling them to chop shops for marching-powder money. What's more, he's not just up against fifteen years in the pokey for his role in the thefts, but his 40 counts also stem from involvement in two gas-station robberies. We wonder how he would've made out at the now defunct Brooklyn Grand Prix? More » -
news
Heisting the Kiddie Cars
We dig vintage merry-go-round-type carnival rides with their made-of-actual metal seats for the kids to ride on. We grew up in the age of metalflake fiberglass, which we also harbor fond memories of (in addition to the Disneyland Autopia cars show above). In that spirit, we have to condemn the thieves who heisted the rare metal cars from a kiddie ride at Carthage Municipal Park in Missouri. The deviants ran off with seven of the 10 cars from the park's kiddie car ride, including a vintage John Deere tractor. Who would take the pleasure of a miniature tractor from a child? A very screwed-in-the-head individual, that's who. More » -
news
Teenage Kicks: 15-Year-Old Rams Police Cars in Stolen SUV
Generally, when we think of teenage hummers, our thoughts drift to '80s-era Traci Lords. 15-year-old Margaret Jacobs, however, has brought the phrase into the 21st Century in an entirely more violent style, by crashing an H2 into two police cars down in Florida, a state known for Hummer profligacy (CSI: Miami, anyone?) and a massive contingent of bored teens (death metal, anyone?). She's currently in the kid-pokey on attempted murder charges. And we thought Texas girls were crazy. More » -
news
Dodge Charger Prime Theft Target?
Who doesn't love the Dodge Charger? You readers voted it runner-up to the Ferrari F430 in Jalopnik's Car of the Year poll. Musclecar fans dig it, the DUB crowd adores it, and wherever you go in one, somebody asks you, "That thing got a Hemi?" Apparently, thieves love it so much, they've been stealing examples right off of dealer lots in Indiana, replacing the VIN plates and selling them as used. In one instance they also made off with $40,000 worth of tools compatible with the LX cars. You're brazen, you thieves. Brazen. In the mean time, the fuzz are telling prospective buyers to pick one up from the dealer. More » -
news: weird
Teenage Girl Steals Bus, Crashes it into 16 Cars
A friend of ours, who is now a mother and a fine, upstanding member of the community, was a bit of a miscreant as a teenager. More specifically, she was known to smoke cigareettes and steal cars. But still, we wonder what compels a sixteen-year-old UK girl to steal a freaking bus, drive it around for a bit, and then smash it into a row of sixteen parked cars. Actually, smashing a bus into a row of parked cars sounds kind of fun. Who's gonna be the first one to blame this on Clarkson? More » -
news: weird
Drunk Guy Steals Street Sweeper, Hilarity Ensues
Much like the wind cries "Mary," there is a Blt that Thnders "DOHERTY!" And said Thndering Blt kicked us down another heartwarming odd vehicle theft involving a drunk guy in New England. 26-year-old Michael Moran found a street sweeper with the keys in it in a parking garage, and in a fit of drunken New English logic, decided to take the machine for a cruise. Our favorite bit is this: "Moran traveled several blocks before he was caught by people chasing him." We're imagining an army of torch-wielding Clavin-clones running after the machine, yelling Eastern Seaboard-style epithets at him while Ennio Morricone's "The Ecstacy of Gold" plays loudly over speakers mounted on the sweeper's roof Japanese-Cosell-Better Off Dead-style. All of it, of course, in extra-dramatic slow-mo. More » -
news
Teenage Hoon Couple Heist 50 Cars
18-year-old Floridian Floyd Jolly and his 14-year-old girlfriend are cooling their heels in the big house (or the juvenile house, in her case) after having been busted for stealing around 50 vehicles from a four-county region. Jolly had recently been released from prison on — of all things — auto theft charges. Yo ho ho, Floyd, the pirate life is obviously one you're pretty big on. Now get thee to the brig, scoundrel. No word as to whether the girl will be shuttled off to a nunnery. More » -
news: weird
Time to Heist the Donuts: Maine Man Steals Dunks Truck
Oh to be young, dumb and full of Coors Light again. Brandon Cote of South Portland saw an opportunity while inebriated and took it: an unattended Dunkin' Donuts delivery van with the keys tantalizingly left in the ignition. Roughly three hours later, he was spotted speeding, and the po-po — fiercely protective of donut shop owners everywhere — took off in a 50mph pursuit, nabbing the 18-year-old when he ditched the vehicle and ran. Tipster TexansAreHot is hoping the truck is one of the coffee-and-donut-box-shaped machines pictured above. And well, frankly, we hope so, too. That almost makes the crime worth the time. More » -
news
Australian Juvenile Attempts to Re-Enact 'Gone in 60 Seconds'
Although there are few things we hate more than having our vehicle stolen, we've gotta say we kind of admire this kid's moxie, as well as abhor the sheer ignorance of his parents. A 13-year-old from Darwin, Australia nicked 12 cars in a week's time, flipping one and setting another one ablaze. What we don't get is that although he was charged with 12 counts of unlawful use of a motor vehicle, he's only up for two counts of theft. Plea bargain, much? More » -
news
Nic Fit: Twin Cities Thieves Ramming Shops, Stealing Smokes
Step one: Steal a car. Step two: Drive said stolen car through the wall or window of the bodega. Step three, make off with ciggies, phone cards and anything else you can haul away. Step four, sell the smokes on the street for a dollar a pack. A suspected gang of crooks has lathered, rinsed and repeated this one 11 times now in the Minneapolis area in the last few weeks. To say that we find this to be rather uncool is an understatement, as it victimizes numerous people. But a buck a pack? We're so in! More » -
news: weird
The Only Way to Exit is Going Piece by Piece: German Thieves Steal Cars in Bits
Over a six year period, a gang of patient, crafty scofflaws stole parts from BMW and Mercedes factories and gradually rebuilt the cars. Supposedly, the crooks "had smuggled millions of pounds worth of cars out bit by bit in clothing and bags for six years before the scam was exposed." Because nobody would ever look askance at the guy with a subframe assembly tucked into his lederhosen. More » -
news
In United Kingdom, Car Traps YOU! British Bait Cars
Authorities in the UK are experimenting with bait cars that will lock attempted auto thieves in the vehicle until authorities arrive on the scene, a la a sans-insecticide Roach Motel. All well and good! Capital, even! But what if said thieves are armed with tire irons? Are transparent aluminum windows part of the package, too? More » -
news
Bait Cars Working Out Nicely in Dallas
Law-enforcement officials are singing bait-car-induced hosannas in the Metroplex, after auto theft dropped 14% over last year. Almost 100 would-be thieves have been nicked since the program started, although we don't have a breakdown between which criminals were nabbed in the wired cars and which were caught using more traditional policing measures. More » -
news: weird
I Learned It by Watching You! Boy Sees Dad Burgle Cars
A Seattle-area 10-year-old boy was subjected to a crash course in automotive B&E by his dad and a couple of associates earlier this month. A 3am phone call by an apartment complex resident brought law-enforcement officials where they nabbed three men ranging in age from 30 to 19, along with a couple of stolen vehicles. Authorities declined to state which one was the father of the young whippersnapper, but confirmed that the kid knew what the criminals were up to. It's all fun and games until somebody calls Child Protective Services. More » -
news
Keyed! Sophisticated Unlocking Technologies Annoy the Kids
We know what makes a person become a writer. Creative expression; the promise of poontang and/or dong when a person you desire finds out that you actually make a living vomiting the contents of your brain onto a page or into a server. Or to become a teacher, with the desire to shape young minds. Or an engineer. But we wonder, why does somebody become a locksmith? We mean, we deal with a Lock on a semi-daily basis, and we listen to Morrissey's old band fairly regularly. But we wouldn't put the two together. It'd just be Stonewall all over again. Still, we respect locksmiths immensely. We find them to be fascinating creatures. We just wanna know how they ended up that way. More » -
news
One More Reason to Stop Auto Theft
The terror-types apparently like our cars a bit too much. Vehicles stolen in the US have been discovered in both bomb factories and at sites of car-bomb explosions in the Middle East. Who has the most to worry about? Southern Californians, Texans and Washington-staters, as the cars tend to be shipped out of LA (San Pedro!), Houston (a source of much heartbreak for us) and Seattle, (a site of peripheral Houston-related heartbreak). More » -
news
Angry Brit Tells Gov't to Stop Charging Theft Victims
Malcolm MacIntyre-Read, Much Wenlock, Shropshire s Neighbourhood Watch coordinator is fed up with the national mandated that motorists whose vehicles have been stolen have to pay recovery fees, and frankly, we're right with him here in the USA. It's one thing if you get towed due to your own negligence. It's quite another when somebody steals your property and the government that your taxes support charges you to get said vehicle back. More » -
news: weird
Roundel & Roundel: The Circle of Life
Akron, Ohio the place where BMWs go to die. Matthew Muller, 35, an Akron resident, got tired of his 1997 BMW. He blew the engine and proceeded to rent a backhoe (the Ultimate Digging Machine) which he used to bury his non-functional 1997 Bimmer in his father s backyard in October of 2002. He claimed the car as stolen and cashed the insurance company s nice fat check for $20 large. More » -
news
The Most Stolen Vehicle in Texas
Why does it not surprise us that the Chevy Silverado is the most-stolen vehicle in our former state of residence? More » -
news: weird
The Endless Corvette Summer
Man, when we were 26, we couldn't afford a 'Vette. Then again, Alan Poster couldn't either, really. But just-divorced, he picked himself up a '68 Stingray convertible. Three months later, it was stolen, and it wasn't insured against theft because Poster couldn't afford it. 37 years later, now living in Petaluma, California (which was once a preferred partying town for us), Poster gets a call from a couple of NY cops who were following up on a routine Customs Service check informing him that his car was about to be shipped to Sweden. According Poster, "Things don't happen by accident. Things come back to me. I have no idea why. Maybe it all comes back to you at some point." If only that were true of women. [Thanks to CTE and Dan for the tip.] More »




































