Jalopnik
If driving a concept car is silly, writing a review of a concept car is like showing up at a black-tie wedding at the Ritz wearing clown shoes, red nose and a Bozo wig. Therefore if you're reading this review to help you decide between buying any next-gen pony cars, whether the Camaro, the Challenger or the Mustang when they all hit the showroom floor in the next year and a half — just stop reading right now. Seriously, just look at the 28 brand-spanking-new pictures of the drop-top below taken courtesy of our very own Mike Bumbeck. Then I want you to go on to the next post, because a write-up of time spent behind the wheel of a car designed entirely for show and never for go will help you in no way to make a purchasing decision. If you're interested in reading about driving a car that could fall apart at any moment, and which you may never get to experience, continue reading below the jump.
Last week I was offered the opportunity to drive the Camaro convertible concept car through the twists and turns of a two-mile length of road in Tejon Ranch, 426 square miles of land along California's scenic Interstate 5, just about 60 miles north of the city of Angels. The fact that these concept-drive events are nothing more than public relations stunts designed to drum up excitement about the car did nothing to damper the desire to feel the wind on my face and hear the sounds of horses a-racin'. The problem is there's no way to do a real review on a one-off concept car because — well, because of a lot of reasons. If I were to actually write a real review on it, it would probably read something like this:
Handling and Ride: Inc.
Considering the alignment's been shot all to hell by thousands of miles of journalist drive time (the correct ratio of real person miles to auto journalist miles is approximately 47.3 to one) and we barely made a u-turn in the concept, I've no way to tell you what the steering or handling will feel like in the real thing.
Acceleration: Inc.
Given that you're not allowed to accelerate above roughly 25-30 mph (I say roughly because there's no working instrumentation), for fear you'll shake the one-off fiberglass shell from the chassis or, worse yet, cause the engine to overheat and catch fire, I've no idea whether that big V8's got the power to make the real thing hustle.
Gearbox: Inc.
The gearbox, hmm, well, the shifter knob sure looks cool. We never got it into gears 4, 5 or 6 — so all we can say is yeah, the shifter knob looks cool.
Audio/Video: Inc.
Unless you count the wind whistling by at our relatively low driving speed or the sound of that big V8, we got nothing for ya.
Toys: Inc.
Ha!
Interior Design: Inc.
The seats aren't the real ones, so you've no idea what the sight lines are going to be like in the real thing. The instrumentation, as I said before, doesn't work. But it looks cool as hell and Chevy engineers tell us "90% of [the production model] will translate from the concept." We've no idea what that means in practical terms; it could be anything from the color combinations to the look of the steering wheel.
Exterior Design: Inc.
Yeah, everyone knows it looks like a half-shark-half-'69 Z28. While designing the General's muscle machine, Chevy engineers tell us they "strived to find a design that balances and creates an equality between the Camaros of old and a totally modern interpretation." The only problem is the heat from the engine was causing the paneling on the concept to warp a bit — taking some of that design balance and turning it into an amusement park hall of mirrors.
Nonetheless, pretty pictures of me driving the Camaro at school-zone speeds isn't all. I also left heartened that, one day, I'll be able to see Dodge, Chevy and Ford pony cars battling once again — running stoplight-to-stoplight down Woodward Avenue back in Detroit. That put one hell of a big smile on my face as I left Tejon Ranch to catch my flight out of La La Land.
Comments
Bummer.
The one thing that I can conclude from looking at those pictures is that, I will become fairly familiar with the windshield frame.
Ray,
Correct me if I am wrong, but you aren't freakishly tall, like <6'3" or so? Yet you look like you are sitting on a booster seat. I mean as far as site lines go (as you say), are you actually looking into the frame, or does it just appear that way?
@Emor8t: I am, err, was, looking right into the frame. I was told by engineers that the production model will fit the top 1% to 0.9% -- or as they call it -- Rick Wagoner size -- i.e., 6'5".
Wagoner is taller than that, isn't he?
I remember standing behind him and thinking, "This guy is a fucking giant."
Sweet, I am in the top 1% with Rick then, or fairly close to it.
Now, if only I was talking about income, and not height.
Who is the passenger? A GM weenie?
@jonnylieberman:
Rick is 6'4", moi aussi.
http://www.nndb.com/people/006/000098709/
Now, Rick since we share a common height, how about comp'n me one of these bad boys.
i still say it's ugly. i wish gm would hire designers with talent, only because i'm tired of seeing their ugly ass cars. dodge seems to be the only one getting this retro muscle car thing right with the challenger.
Is there room in the back for a car seat (or two?)
hrmm... I suggest more auto execs in the 6'5" - 6'9" height bracket. Maybe then I'd be able to find more cars that fit me...
@Emor8t: No way -- he's taller than that
I'm 5'11" and here's a shot of Rick from behind I took with the camera above my head
http://www.jalopnik.com/photogallery/tigerrick/640461
@aychseven:
While I'm not enamored of the tail light treatment, I like this car. the Mustang's getting old, and I'm not sure how much "imagination/talent" it took for the Dodge guys to make the new Challenger look just like the old Challenger. Don't get me wrong, I like the Challenger as well. The Camaro took the old car's design cues and evolved them, while still paying homage to the original.
@Vintage Racer: Yeah. And once they remove the clown-shoe wheels, the proportions will look better.
@jonnylieberman:
Too true. But at least we know what the "Hot Wheels" version will look like.
This truly is a sad day for motoring industry, but I am sure a great day for every small sacked yahoo wanting to relive their high school years. ...and everyone in the double wide too, sorry did not mean to exclude anyone here. NEEEEEEEEEEEEXT!
Wert: Not afraid to drive a vehicle on public roads, with no license plates. Salut!
Oh, and attaboy to GM for flying journalists across the country to "test-drive" a one-off fiberglass tub on a barely rolling chassis! Junket, hooooo!
I must say this is a refreshing change from reading all those anti-GM articles syndicated from Robert "I Hate America" Farago's website.
@blueplate: I would like to point out that we paid our own way to the event. Others may have sucked at the corporate teat, but some of us have higher standards. Or something.
@Ray Wert:
Wouldn't comp you, hmm?
@szamot: Spoken like a true mercedes nut. Your like the person you describe, only with more money. :)
Compensation is compensation.
@Ray Wert: You turned down the Hampton Inn for the Blue Lantern Roadside Motel?
Does this car actually have a friggin' top? I've heard whispers from my GM contact that they are hoping nobody asks to see the convertible top because they haven't gotten around to it yet.
This car looks like a damn cartoon.
@Ray Wert: Thank you, and I stand corrected -- may the corporate teat remain unsuckled. Or something.
@Downtown Joe: just because he's man enough to come out and say that GM makes garbage doesn't mean you have to get your panties in a twist.
@goatrope:
Possible. The Solstice still doesn't have a top.
@aychseven: He's a twat and the last time I checked, twat does not equal "man."
Now boys. I know Farago pretty well. He hates crappy cars, not America.
@jonnylieberman:
I'm pretty sure he is a card-carrying pinko commie.
"If it ain't a 'yota, it ain't gonna float-a"
..err something like that. Either way, I kind of put him in the same league as Friedman, so busy bashing 'merican that he forgot the imports aren't that great either.
It's kind like saying, Fox News is hogwash conservative crap, I know, I'll read the NYT, there is no bias in that!
@Downtown Joe:
I stopped reading "GM death watch" articles back when they were on #95 or something.
@Ray Wert:
I'm jealous
i thought this car was actually coming out with the Transformers movie - is that not correct?
@Emor8t: Farago? Pinko?
Have you considered a remedial reading class at the local JC?
@Vintage Racer: No, they offered. We declined.
@jonnylieberman: Ha, it was partial sarcasm. For what ever reason, it was the first insult that sounded good, and wasn't blatantly obscene, at least by todays standards.
Good night and Good Luck.
@Ray Wert:
More scruples than me right now ;-)
Thank you guys for providing a real fluff free impression, i'm so tired of reading "OMG the new camaro, from our 35mph limited drive, totallyz ROXRZZZ".
You guys get much better corporate swag than we do.
Why just last week I got free, micro curb feelers for my office chair. I'm in the wrong business.
/scrunk...scrunk...scrunk
I accepted a small tube of GM sunblock, and a salad for lunch.
@Bumbeck: Yes, I had a terrible sandwich and some bread pudding that made my stomach hurt. Oh, and I partook in said sunblock.
@Ray Wert:
Tool
@Vintage Racer: Apparently not enough sunblock, because I think you just called me a "Tool." That must be the sun having an effect on me.
I still thinks its as "fresh and clean as a whistle"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n844x4vEzvk
just say'n...
@Ray Wert:
I'm going to go now.... (slinks away....)
@Bumbeck: Oh man -- I've still got a tube of Maserati sunblock.
It works way, way better than Sebring sunblock.
@Emor8t:
you got all that from looking at 160x160 picture - you are, you're not your gifted? Perhaps I could send you a picture of my anus and you could tell me what I had for dinner last nigh?!
Oi! :)
Ya know, you guys could have pulled off the whole Jon & Vince "Swingers" thing if they would have let you cruise Sunset Blvd instead of the private roads of a diversified agribusiness company.
It might have been a silly car but you two looked cool driving it, and that's what counts in SoCal. Thanks for the pics and the bread pudding tip.
So, wait, you didn't get it into fourth? No skip-shit on the concept? I'd probably celebrate that, but every time I've driven a car with it, I've never gotten out of first gear. And yeah, concept and all that.
Either way, the Camaro is cool looking enough, that at the very least, it'll make work more interesting (I work at a Chevy dealer - the Camaro will help deal with the ennui of so many Cobalts, Uplanders, etc).
Is it just me, or does Wert bare an uncanny resemblance to the cop from Heros?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0342399/
What about the precious T-Tops!? I loved mine on my Z28.
I wouldn't describe Ray as "freakishly tall." I'm 6'2" and we always saw eye-to-eye, literally if not