How To Watch The Election Results If You're A GearheadS

Apparently, there's some sort of election happening in the US tonight— I want to say a bond referendum thing? Maybe something more? News to me.

But, seeing as how it looks like a big deal, and based on the fact that none of the major news outlets are covering it with any emphasis on cars, I figured we better cover it here at Jalopnik.

We've employed the Jalopnik Mainframe, deep in its bunker in William Shatner's sex dungeon, to compute the optimal car for every state, and we'll dynamically repaint the car red or blue based on the state's election results. Red for Romney/Republican, Blue for Obama/Democrat, and then we'll photograph the painted car and get its image on the map.

So, check in throughout the night, and see what states are choosing what color! We'll also include a tally of electoral college votes as well, since, you know, states have different ones, based on their water table depths or something.

So, stay tuned to Jalopnik for the only car-based election map on the internet!

Oh, and if you have a problem with your state's car, feel free to bitch about it in Kinja and suggest better ones or just call me terrible names. We're also using this as an open thread for the election so sound off.

Oh, and by the way: Obama's won it. Post offices, no need to change those portraits!

RUNNING TALLY:

Fishing Boat/Maine: Obama, 4 electoral lobsters.

Subaru Forrester/Vermont: Obama, 3 electoral smelly hippies.

BMW 7 Series/Connecticut: Obama, 7 electoral rich talk show hosts.

Chevy Volt/Massachusetts: Obama, 11 electoral baked beans.

Peel P50, Rhode Island: Obama, 4 of the smallest electoral votes.

Toyota Camry, Delaware: Obama, 3 electoral corporate headquarters.

PT Cruiser/Michigan: Obama, 16 electoral automotive workers

Blues Bros. Cruiser/Illinois: Obama, 20 electoral Democratic political machines

Rusty F100/Pennsylvania: Obama, 20 electoral steel mills

Clampetmobile/West Virginia: Romney, 5 electoral moonshine stills.

Horse/Kentucky: Romney, 8 electoral whiskies

Busted Camaro/South Carolina: Romney, 9 electoral palmettos

General Lee/Georgia: Romney, 16 electoral peanuts

Sonata/Alabama: Romney, 9 electoral magnolias

Riverboat/Mississippi: Romney, 6 electoral cotton bolls

Streetcar/Louisiana: Romney, 8 electoral Ignatius J. Reillys

F350/Arkansas: Romney, 6 electoral razorbacks

Ford Escape/Minnesota: Obama, 10 electoral NPR-loving Lutherans

Camaro/Tennessee: Romney, 11 electoral steel guitars

Wheeled Bruce Springstein/New Jersey: Obama, 14 electoral guidos

Cadillac Eldorado/Texas: Romney, 38 electoral longhorns

Chevy Suburban/Oklahoma: Romney, 7 electoral oil wells

Combine/Kansas: Romney, 6 electoral evolution-deniers

GMC Yukon/Nebraska: Romney, 5 electoral hoosiers

Buick Regal/South Dakota: Romney, 3 electoral Crazy Horses

Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera/North Dakota: Romney, 3 electoral missile silos

Baja Bug/New Mexico: Obama, 5 electoral Lesbian-owned junkyards

GMC 4x4/Wyoming: Romney, 3 electoral bison

15-passenger Van/Utah: Romney, 6 electoral Mormons

Ford Bronco/Montana: Romney, 3 electoral glaciers

Subaru BRAT/Wisconsin: Obama, 10 electoral cheese wheels

Hummer Limo/Nevada: Obama, 6 electoral blackjack dealers/legal hookers

Jeep Cherokee/New Hampshire: Obama, 4 electoral interstate liquor stores

Border Patrol Jeep/Arizona: Romney, 11 electoral canned ice teas

Chevy Lumina Z34/North Carolina: Romney, 15 electoral Cheerwine Chuggers

Subaru Outback/Colorado: Obama, 9 electoral skiers

Model A Stakebed Truck/Idaho: Romney, 4 electoral potatoes

Jeep Wrangler/Hawaii: Obama, 4 electoral dashboard hula girls

VW Microbus/California: Obama, 55 electoral deep, rich tans

Volvo 240 Wagon/Washington: Obama, 12 electoral old grunge bands

Cornmobile/Iowa: Obama, 6 electoral corn husk dolls

Lincoln Mark V Coupé/Ohio: Obama, 18 electoral Cleveland steamers

Stripped hulk/Missouri: Romney, 10 electoral archways

Toyota Prius/Oregon: Obama, 7 electoral votes with birds on them

International Scout/Montana: Romney, 3 electoral wide open spaces

Buick Roadmaster/Virginia: Obama, 13 electoral lovers

PROVISIONALLY CALLING FLORIDA'S BATSHIT CRIMINALS FOR OBAMA
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