As far as I can tell, Carrot Top is some kind of ancient wizard whose spell of eternal youth has worn off and he remains alive only by sucking the souls out of unsuspecting tourists in Las Vegas.
Whether he is man or beast, Carrot Top is best described as "disgusting," which gives only the smallest piece of context to an exchange we had this morning over a tasty Carrera GT. The question was "would you drive one," and we came up with some fairly creative, destructive, and disgusting responses. Here are a few of our favorites, but you should just read the whole discussion in Kinja.
Would I drive a Porsche Carrera GT?
I drive a '93 Honda Civic with rust holes you can put your head through.
IF YOU SET A CARRERA GT ON FIRE AND REMOVED THE ENGINE, I WOULD STILL JUMP IN AND PUSH IT AROUND THE YARD WITH MY FEET.
I drive a hooptie-ass 1964 Oldsmobile with busted A/C, a whining power steering pump, rust everywhere, a torn seat, and a 240 mile range from a 20-gallon tank.
IF YOU INFESTED THE CARRERA GT WITH A FAMILY OF TARANTULAS AND HANTAVIRUS-LADEN NORWEGIAN RATS, I WOULD STILL DRIVE IT..
I drive a perfectly boring honda accord coupe.
IF YOU PUT THE CARRERA GT IN A PLANE AND PUSHED IT OUT, I'D RIDE IT ALL THE WAY DOWN, PRETENDING IT'S THE CORKSCREW AT LAGUNA SECA THE WHOLE WAY.
I drive a 2007 VW Golf GTI
IF YOU TOLD ME I HAD TO GIVE BLOWJOBS TO CARROT TOP ON DEMAND FOR THE NEXT YEAR I WOULD DRIVE IT SO FAST I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND MAKE THE SAME DECISION OVER AGAIN.
Photo Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images