Why Doing Naked Burnouts On A Motorcycle Is A Bad Plan

Provinssirock is one of Finland's biggest rock festivals, attracting some 80,000 fans every year to the small city of Seinäjoki. This year, that number included one naked, burnout-happy motorcyclist. Let's break down the multiple reasons why this is the worst idea ever.

1. If you crash, it won't be pretty.

Sensible motorcyclists wear full leather suits to keep them from getting parts of their body torn off when they hit the pavement. You, naked Finnish motorcyclist, will be looking like a cross between Varys and the inside of a mincemeat pie if anything goes wrong.

2. You will be ridiculed.

Finns are a nutty people. Even they know that you look like a sperm with your helmet and pasty-pale body. They also know what's about to happen to you.

3. You will be arrested.

Even though Europeans are a bit more accepting of public nudity than us puritan-bred prudes in the US of A, doing burnouts is just going to get you arrested. This guy meets an unhappy-looking police van before the two-minute video is over.

Don't drop the soap, buddy.

While there's no visible penis in the full video, your boss may consider it NSFW.

(Hat tip to Heidi Hakomäki!)