Usually driving an extraordinarily extra-extrovert-ant truck is indicative of shortcomings in the pants department. In the case of today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Dodge Ram SRT-10, that could only be due to the need to make room for the massive stones it would take to get behind the wheel. Will its price however prove to be a kick in the nuts?
Truckin' down Foothill Boulevard. . . may not have the right ring to it, but yesterday's Sunland CA-located '72 Datsun 521 still managed to ring up a 68% Nice Price win. Hopefully it won't scratch the wood in the bed on the trip home.
As I noted yesterday mini trucks seem to have gone the way of reasonably sized food portions, only to have also been replaced with their own supersized itterations. One such super engorged - oh my gawd it's so big it'll never fit - is this 2005 Dodge Ram SRT-10.
Everything about this truck is over the top: Doors? It's got four of them. Pistons? You'll find fully ten of those, and they add up to 522 cubic inches of displacement, give or take. There's a six-speed stick behind that Viper V10, and each bank of the engine is given its own turbo, which is like giving Terminators their own chain guns. The stroker motor has seen a slew of internal mods to support the extra effort the turbos demand and hopefully not assplode at the first opportunity.
From its Saltillo Mexico factory, the four door Ram SRT-10 rocked 525-horses at the crank and 5,525 pounds of weight at the curb. Both those numbers are pretty compensatory, but this one takes it even further, with the twin turbo and intercooler giving the truck a claimed 712 ponies at the wheels. The Tick Performance T-56 (replacing the stock 48RE four-speed automatic) does your bidding in pushing those horses back to the rear axle. All-wheel drive was never offered on the SRT-10.
The dealer ad notes that this Ram was loaded from the factory before all the batshitcrazypants performance stuff was added, so in addition to being able to kill you through neck snappage at the slightest touch of the go pedal, you're death will be cosseted in all the luxury accoutrements Dodge felt they could cram into their giant pickup back in '05. That means leather and alcantara sport seats (which I can tell you aren't all that comfortable) up front and a matching bench in back. There's also the requisite A/C and power everything - necessary here because the truck is so damn big you could conceivably need another truck just to reach the hinterlands of its enormous cabin. Hell, the center armrest alone could be considered ‘queen-size.' In addition, improvements have been made on the 2005 cabin technology in the same way as was done with the under-hood performance; there's a fancypants Nav/Stereo in the dash, and a built-in radar detector with frickin' laser.
The truck has but 22K under its ginormous tires and the entire thing looks factory fresh, even in spite of all the updates it has undergone. As noted from the outset, this outrageous, over the top, audacious, running out of adjectives truck implies a necessary compensation for imagined deficiencies in height, social status, or swordsmanship. In short, you'd need to be pretty secure in your manhood - or hell, womanhood if that's how you roll - to drive this thing and not be thought as Shrimpy McPleasurepeg.
You'd also have to be well endowed of bank account as these things got like 9 mpg on a good day stock, and this one probably sucks dead dinosaurs like its some sort of necrophyli-nymphomaniac. Geez, just looking at pictures of it makes my gas card quiver with anticipation.
Along with the trust fund required to keep this Ram from going dry there's also the matter of the purchase price which is $50,000 in this case. That's a lot of bank just to distract from one's shortcomings, but is perhaps a valid asking price for a truck that is so over the top in all aspects. Of course, that's for you to decide and now has come the time to weigh in on that fifty grand. Is that a price that means you would touch this truck with a ten-inch pole? or, for that much, is the dealer selling this truck short?
H/T to Nick Moore for the hookup!
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