Most of us ignore those skeevy ads in the back of magazines that promise readers mass amounts of weight loss, ecstatic sex, and bountiful heads of hair in exchange for a few bucks plus shipping and handling. But at least one ad deserves our full attention.
Dr. Boss Sexciter for Women promises to speed up the female libido. There's nothing theoretically wrong with that aim, of course — but the ad is geared toward men, not women, and makes of point of mentioning how easy it is to add the elixir to "your favorite drink" without anyone taking note.
Online, the product is clearly meant to appeal to (the sketchiest of) dudes: noted benefits include "She Won't Be Able To Keep Her Hands Off Of You" and "Special Ingredients Quickly Speed up Her Desire For Sex." Gross, but not as overtly predatory as the declarations in this magazine ad from Motor Trend's February 2012 issue, which boasts that Sexciter "can be taken by mouth or put in any liquid without detection, but you should get her permission. She will become wild, untamed, and desire to have sex with you."
Would "But you should get her permission," the world's lamest disclaimer of all time, hold up in court? We contacted the seller, World Class Nutrition — which claims it's the top source for FDA-banned Epedhra, among other high blood pressure-inducing goodies — but the company did not respond to multiple requests for comment. We do know that Sexciter is "doctor approved" — although it's not specified whether that means approved by someone with an actual MD or the mysterious "Dr. Boss." (We'd go with the latter.)
Sexciter is a disgusting product made by and for disgusting people — but could it actually be used to take advantage of unassuming women? Hard to say; it mostly contains Yohimbe (a type of African tree), which has been known to help with erectile dysfunction issues and might also benefit people suffering from sexual problems related to antidepressants. The Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database says there is "insufficient evidence" that the bark causes sexual excitement. However, it's "likely unsafe" for women who are pregnant or breastfeeding, have mental issues, liver and kidney disease, high or low blood pressure, heart disease, anxiety, depression, and diabetes. In conclusion: not something you'd want slipped into your iced tea, and not something anyone should be able to purchase in quantities of "130 doses," on sale for 25 bucks.
Here's the full ad: