Did You Know There Are Other Things Called 'Viper'?

The star of the New York Auto Show is the new Viper. Everyone's talking about it — even more than the new Nissan cab, if you can imagine that. But what's less realized is that there's lots of stuff called "viper" that aren't even cars! Get this — they even named a snake "viper!"

Herpetology aside, let's look at some other important Vipers you, a sexy modern go-getter who's in the know, should be aware of.

Viper Car Alarm Systems: We'll start with a car-related one so the transition is nice and smooth. The important thing about the Viper Alarm System is this 80s-era ad:

... and what's important about that is that my wife as a child actually believed the alarm system worked by projecting a hologram of an angry snake inside the car. Not only did she believe this for many years, she felt it was a stupid system that would never dissuade her from stealing a car. See, as a little girl, she exhibited an amazing tolerance to poorly CG'd snakes, and for that I'm very proud of her.

Viper, Colonial: In both the Battlestar Galactica series, the Viper was humankind's most baddest-ass single-seat space fighter. Three engines, very maneuverable, great looking. I'd take one over an X-wing any day, though I'm not sure where I'd stick my R2 droid. Because I'd have a droid.

Viper, Porn Acttress: The late Stephanie Green was known as Viper thanks to a full-body snake tattoo. She was a ballet dancer and Marine before making the move to porn (a common career path), and later in life claimed to be a victim of "implant schizophrenia" from her breast implants which led to her mental breakdown.

Vipers, Enemies to GI Joe: Apparently, within the Cobra Command anti-freedom-and-puppies organization, the common honorific among soldiers is "Viper". So, if you're part of Cobra, you may be an Air-Viper of a Mecha-Viper, or a Janitor-Viper.

Viper, Telescope: The Viper telescope is used to study cosmic background radiation, and is the most powerful of its kind. It's being used to help prove or disprove the Big Crunch theory.

Vipers, Deadly Assassin Squad: Perhaps best known from the Kill Bill documentaries (?), the Deadly Viper Assasination Squad is a crack, well, assassination squad composed of Bill, Elle Driver, Vernita Green, O-Ren Ishii, Budd, and, of course, Beatrix Kiddo. Kiddo killed everyone in revenge for killing her, so keep that in mind if you're looking to hire a killing squad.

Viper, Hieroglyph: In ancient Egyptian, the Viper hieroglyph was the phonetic letter f, and the possessive pronoun (his, hers, or its).