Ventiest Miata ever has vents on its vents

Christmas dreams for a Pep Boys regional accessory manager aren't about sugarplums or shiny bicycles: they're about taking an underadorned car and putting things right. Which means plastering a serious pile of cheap plastic crap onto something like a defenseless Miata.

Shall we take a quick survey? The mirrored rimz are the least ridiculous part of the degradation process; even Mazda has offered original-equipment chrome wheels from time to time. The Gateway Arch wing on the back is pointless, but at least it's in something approximating body color.

On to the truly awful. I will bet large amount of money which I do not have that the flat-black mail-slot hood scoops flow straight into the hood's uncut sheet metal. The two scoops forming the M in the middle of the hood are ugly but an admittedly creative touch; the three chrome diamonds are ugly and not a creative touch. The chevrons behind the turn signals are cunningly subtle, almost as if they don't want to give away their uselessness too quickly.

It's hard to tell if the crappy paint on the front fender is due to an attempt at flaring the fenders, but something was obviously going on there. And...wait... look closer...yes! A-pillar gauges! And just maybe a "sport bar" behind the seats? Congratulations to the owner/vandal for a most thorough job of making us ill.

Really, this is maybe the first Miata ever which looks sad. See that usually happy-faced opening under the bumper? It's frowning. Our hearts go out to this victim of senseless abuse.

(Hat tip to William Griffith!)