What do we mean when we say Jalopnik is for "auto enthusiasts" and not a boring exercise in new car buyer lead generation? It means we'd never produce the list Edmunds Inside Line cranked out of the "100 Worst Cars of All Time." It's a list so anti-enthusiast it should just be titled "We're going to kick people who love cars in the balls and collect 100 clicks, thanks!"
To prove my point, I'm going to make a list of ten great cars made up entirely of cars from their list of supposedly horrible cars. Yes, I'm feeding the trolls.
This isn't to say the list is universally bad. Everyone agrees the Aztec — despite its tremendous practicality — is one of the worst cars ever (mostly because it didn't belong in the Pontiac brand) and it, of course, tops this list. But out of 100 cars there are more than a dozen I'd actually like to own and curiously — it's lacking in many currently sold cars.
Wouldn't want to offend anyone...right?
So here are ten of the cars I would actually buy, in no particular order, in one post, and not in some click-happy gallery (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
10. The Ariel Atom
What could Edmunds possibly have against the awesome Ariel Atom — a car that's pure, non-bullshit driving? It doesn't have a roof, windshield or HVAC system. Clearly, they'd be happier with a Kia Rondo than a car with actual testicles.
9. Saleen S7
Once again, too much awesome for you, Edmunds? Sure, the 550-hp V8-powered supercar was a bit kit car-ish, but that can be said of many of Europe's supercars as well. And they aren't American-built and -powered. Or do you just hate America?
8. Volvo 262C
Volvo's most reliable car ever (and maybe anyone's most reliable car ever) combined with some Italian Bertone styling makes for a strange but truly cool car. Edmunds says "only Stockholm's dumbest pimp" could love this car. Countless 200-series owners would like to slap you for that remark. Also, curious that a consumer car site would choose such a reliable machine as a "worst car ever." Did your interns pick this one? If so, let us loan you some of ours — they're better.
7. 1953 Chevrolet Corvette
This is the "Oh, look at us, we're controversial" pick. I know, because I've done it before. The original 1953 Corvette is gorgeous but underpowered and saddled with a terrible drivetrain. Raise your hand if you'd like to own the "crap" car pictured to the right?
6. Subaru Justy
Get out. Please. Just get the fuck out. If your reasoning behind putting a fun little 4WD hatchback on this list is it was "powered by a three-cylinder engine and available with a continuously variable transmission" you can just take that weak shit somewhere else.
5. Triumph TR7
Yes, it's going to fall apart on you. Yes, it has plaid seats and a four-banger underhood. Yes, it looks like a doorstop. Yes, it's also awesome and lovable for all those reasons. What would you rather have? An Aveo?
4. 1989 Lotus Elan
This is just bizarre. No one has been more skeptical of Lotus than us and an Isuzu-powered FWD Elan sounds like something we'd hate. But the truth? FWD cars are capable of handling quite well in low-power packages and the Elan was true to Chapman's simple, lightweight philosophy. Many called it the "finest handling front-wheel drive car available", on-par with the Type-R Integra.
Oh, and how dare anyone add a reliable Japanese engine to a Lotus! Can you imagine? A Lotus sports car with a Japanese engine? Insane.
3. AMC Gremlin
The Gremlin is just cool. Seriously. How insecure do you have to be to not be able to admit that?
2. Lamborghini Espada
Espadas aren't great because they are Lamborghinis (although, not a bad place to start). Espadas are great because they are deliciously strange Italian exotics powered by 325-hp V12 engines. Why is it bad? Because it's got "sci-fi" styling and is "thirsty." Yeah, genius, it's a V12 Lamborghini. And why would anyone ever want an exotic car with "sci-fi" styling — oh, wait, actually, Edmunds Inside Line has, in the past.
1. Porsche 914
This list may be in no real order, but definitely screw those guys for picking the Porsche 914. A lightweight, mid-engined, RWD Porsche. They're beloved, even today, despite the insistence by Edmunds — with no sourcing or explanation — that it was never a "real Porsche."
And those are just ten. I'd also take the Suzuki and T-Bird and put them in my garage. A Corvette Summer 'Vette? Sure.
There are lots of bad cars out there so it's a shock the ten above are considered the worst. Although, I'm biased in a way the creators of this list aren't: I actually like cars.