Angry, smug bear takes Prius for a joyride

A bear in Lake Tahoe broke into a Toyota Prius parked in a local driveway. He got angry, as bears do, and shifted the Prius into neutral — though probably not on purpose. Then, the hybrid rolled into a neighbor's house. Smug bear attack!

Local cops say they've never seen a bear open a car door before, but alarmists among us believe bears are learning how to mess with our stuff by surreptitiously watching us, mimicking our behavior and then selling our shit to the Chinese for pennies on the dollar. Not to alarm anyone, but that may be what's happening here:

After wedging itself inside the car, the bear became stuck. Frustrated, hungry and mad, it kicked, scratched, bit and tore at the interior of the hybrid, trying to force a way out as easily as it found its way in.

In its behind-the-wheel rampage, the bear ripped open the seats, bit a chunk out of the steering wheel and damaged the Prius' gear box, shifting the car into neutral.

From the safety of the cabin, the awakened family watched helplessly as the commandeered Prius slowly started rolling out of the driveway.

The car was totaled, but the bear wasn't, and he escaped from the Prius and ran back into the woods, likely to spread his knowledge to other animals, and sending his findings to Julian Assange.