Ten sexy crap cars

As gearheads, it's a struggle we face nearly every day: we know a car's horribly built or neutered by the Feds, but it just looks so good. Here are the ten cars Jalopnik readers think are sexy but mostly crap.

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Photo Credit:Gmanviz, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


10.) DeLorean DMC-12

Suggested By: Anderson

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: It's one of the most memorable and iconic cars of the 1980s with its stainless steel body and gullwing doors. But it's so slow that an entire film franchise is based on the premise that something magical happens if the car manages to hit 88 mph. Unfortunately, the heavy stainless steel car is tied to a wimpy Peugeot-Volvo-Renault engine that put out a dinky 170 horsepower on a good day. But who cares? It looks great.

Ten sexy crap cars


9.) Alfa Romeo Spider

Suggested By: frogberg

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: Just look at the thing. The Spider is one of the most perfect looking cars ever to roll off an assembly line. Even as it got older and more plasticky, it somehow managed to look just right. It's a shame, then, that it's an Alfa. It's destined to spend many of its days in the garage, wheels in the air, getting one thing or another replaced. If it's not leaking oil on the floor, that is. And when it's on the road? They're notorious for understeering like champs and being painfully slow.

Photo credit: kenjonbro, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


8.) MG-B GT

Suggested By: Fedaykin528

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: The ubiquitous MG-B is a fun little car. There's a reason you can't shake a stick without hitting one at your average (imported) vintage car show. And those are only the ones on the road - think about how many more are at home, leaking oil and wiring smoke! Take all the fun of the MG-B and put a Pininfarina-designed roof over the top of it though, and you've got one of the best looking cars of the 1960's on your hands - too bad it still can't turn its lights on most of the time.

Photo credit: kenjonbro, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


7.) Opel GT

Suggested By: Cheeseslap

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: It's a real shame that Opel's GT looked that good. It promised so much, and delivered so little. Its tiny base-model 1.1 liter engine made just 67 horsepower. The rest of the car fell apart if you looked at it the wrong way. Its cool rollover headlights often got stuck, giving their owners bizarrely muscular right arms (the lights were operated by a hand crank in the cabin).

Photo credit: aldenjewell, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


6.) Marcos 1800

Suggested By: Corz

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: The Marcos 1800 looks like a proper 1960's sports car. Big fared-in headlights, low and curvy, chromed bumpers - it's got the look. Unfortunately, for roughly the first six years of its life, its chassis was made out of plywood. The seats were fixed to the rear bulkhead, so in order to adjust for drivers of different heights, a small wheel under the dashboard had to be used to move the pedalbox. Also, the driving position was virtually horizontal. Other than all that, I'm sure they're a blast to drive.

Photo credit: RUD66, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


5.) Fiat X1/9

Suggested By: fodder650

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: Taking the 1970's to heart, the Fiat X1/9 is one of the cooler looking cars of the era. Targa tops are always cool, and combined with the car's angular shape, made for an attractive package. And bystanders would have plenty of time to look at it, since the car is just about as fast as an Italian lunch. It's also midget-sized, and can be quite uncomfortable for anyone over Ewok-height.

Photo credit: sarflondondunc, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


4.) Jaguar XJS

Suggested By: Billy Dee Williams

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: This is a tough one for me. I love the way the XJS looks. Every time I get the chance to flip through the classifieds of British vintage car magazines, I wonder how hard it would be to import a right-hand drive one. Then I remember: Lucas. British Leyland V12. Any number of things can, and will, go wrong on the car. It's one big mistake waiting to get shipped across the Atlantic Ocean. Then, I put the magazine down and walk away.

Photo credit: Carlos62, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


3.) Lancia Beta Montecarlo

Suggested By: the Poor Sheep 911

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: The problem with the neat-looking Montecarlo is that they rust. Are you thinking about one right now? It's rusting. A Lancia Beta Montecarlo, somewhere in the world, is rusting, because you're thinking about it. The rusting only gets worse if your Montecarlo gets stuck in the rain. Unless the overly-boosted front brakes locked up and sent you into a tree, which was a major concern in pre-1980 cars.

Photo credit: tonylanciabeta, flickr

Ten sexy crap cars


2.) Maserati Merak

Suggested By: I love you but I've chosen hooning!

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: It's almost never good when a car is produced by a company that is owned by three different entities during its lifespan. During the Merak's production, Maserati was owned by Citroen, the Italian government under the guise of GEPI, and De Tomaso. That meant budget cuts, quality control issues, and parts-bin raiding. I'm sure there are well-put-together Meraks out there somewhere, but they didn't come that way out of the factory.

Photo credit: sak_1957

Ten sexy crap cars


1.) VW Karmann Ghia

Suggested By: DennyCraneDennyCrane

Why It's Sexy-But-Crappy: The Karmann Ghia is essentially a Volkswagen Beetle made slower and less useful by a heavy, Italian-designed body. God, what a body though. Like Anna Nicole Smith in her prime, the Karmann Ghia's a lot of curves on top of not much else. God rest their souls.

Photo credit: Chorwedel