Borg Warner announces hundreds of workers to be offered Fritos

Several hundred employees of drivetrain supplier Borg Warner will be able to purchase Fritos brand corn chips from company vending machines, sources said earlier today. Could it be they've hired someone new in the purchasing department?

The crispy, deep-fried corn-based snack product will be available in vending machines positioned at company dining facilities within the drivetrain components supplier's headquarters in Auburn Hills, Michigan and at its branch offices in Asheville, North Carolina, Frankfort, Illinois and Longview, Texas, sources told Autoblognik yesterday through a third party who responded on behalf of a guy going by the name of "Steve" who issued the press release.

"Fritos are really a fantastic snack," said Larry Fishbern, an employee at Borg Warner's Frankfort production plant who was on hand to provide a canned quote. "I don't know anyone who doesn't like Fritos. They're delicious. You can't build transmissions like a champ without taking a Fritos break. All the guys here eat them like they're fried unicorn taint. Yeah, don't use that last bit."

Borg Warner announces hundreds of workers to be offered Fritos

"I kind of forgot they even existed," another employee, who wouldn't give his name, said. "They haven't advertised in like forever, so having them in the vending machines were like, 'Oh, shit, yeah, Fritos. I'm getting' those. Ok, so when do we get paid for this?'" he said.

Still, several employee representatives expressed outrage that Fritos, which some claim are high in fat and salt, were being offered over other, more nutritious, snacks.

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"''Ere, what's that, then, innit?" Ellen Snodgrass, an ethnically colorful floor manager said. "That Fritos is like toxic waste! You eat that fookin' stuff every day and it's like you're telling God you don't really need to live. Like sayin' to the guy, please give me a massive bleedin' coronary thrombosis, alright?"

Will Fritos usurp other snacks enjoyed by Borg Warner employees, like Wise potato chips and Sun Chips? Who knows.