When someone emails in a tip about an individual losing their car to flames I usually feel bad. Even when I saw the ridiculous headline, Audi 'just poofed into flames' in Santa Rosa, I still felt bad. Then I took a closer look at the guy.
He drives an old Audi. It burst into flames. All of this, in a way, is sort of inevitable. But focus on that face. It can't really be George Gatton, a 21-year-old wine bottler from Sonoma, wearing those hipster glasses and that forlorn hipster face. And a Nationals cap? Is that ironic?
You start putting words into his mouth:
● "Oh no, my vintage Chucks!"
● "Where'd I put my autographed copy of The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip!?!"
● "I had so many charcoal drawings in there!"
● "What about my various generations of iPod!?!"
● "I was going to return all my American Apparel solid-color v-neck shirts for BDG brand but the receipt is in the glovebox!"
● "I just downloaded that Neon Indian single!"
● "Goddamnit, My unicycle was in there!"
● "NOOOOOOOOO! I left my iPad under the seat!
● "I'll have to actually ride my fixie, not just pose on it!"
So I feel a little bad. I showed the same thing to ex-Jalop Ben Wojdyla and he didn't feel bad at all. He just fed me sad hipster jokes. So now I'm conflicted. Because the guy who looks remarkably like the guitarist from Arcade Fire needs to get to work. And he probably didn't know he was being photographed, so he didn't pose in a way that so strongly elicits a feeling schadenfreude in me. He just does.
And I laugh. And it makes me a bad person.
I don't care.
(Hat tip to Adam!)