The Lamborghini Countach is perhaps the all-time most uncompromising car for speed and jaw dropping appearance, and one today can set you back six figures. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Kitborghini lets you have all that... at a compromise.
Yesterday's Birkin really fluffed up your collective merkin, as evidenced by its 73% Nice Price win and ‘private time' many of you required with the pictures - come on, admit it. Based on the S3 Lotus Seven, that South African sports car was intended from the get go to be built in someone's garage, earning the builder not just an amazingly rewarding ride, but the satisfaction of driving his or her own creation. Today's contender is also homie don't you know me built, but the only thing light about it is the little thing that hopefully comes on when you pop open its scissor doors.
The Countach is a good car for the backyard builder to rip off because, while pretty much everyone had a picture of one on their bedroom wall growing up, few have actually seen one in the metal, meaning they won't be able to tell if you fudge some of the details. Surprisingly, this one looks pretty accurate, even if you're sober, although the maker unwisely chose to emulate the 25th anniversary bodystyle. With its additional grated scoops, wild-ass wing and vanilla rice ground effects covering the Gandini-penned lines, the silver anniversary car looks like Salma Hayek as Frida- sure she's hot and all, but what's with the monobrow?
This fauxborghini might just leave you with your bows both mono'd and furrowed. The V12 in a real Countach sits the same way the car points – just like in all twelve cylinder Lambos, save for the Miura, however, this car's engine sits side-saddle. It's also four pots short of a flower garden, or something like that, as that sidewinder out back is a fuel injected SBC, not a Weber-packing V12. That means it also sports three fewer cams than the Bizzarini-designed original, as well as likely being infinitely more reliable.. There is a manual transmission under that Chevy, as evidenced by the extra pedal crowding the narrow footwell, and do-it-yourself lever in the high center console. As the seller doesn't say in the ad what that tranny is, we'll just have to guess it's one of the Fiero's boxes.
That's right, this Countach appears to be polluted with Pontiac, although the builder has gone a long way towards masking the outbreaks. That being said, there's not enough Valtrex® in the world to hide those Fiero air vents in the otherwise bespoke and cobbled-together dash. Much like the original, the interior looks somewhat half-assed, with Radio Shack toggles strewn haphazardly about, and the plank of wood serving as an instrument panel unable to mask its Home Depot origins. Conspicuous by its absence is a Playboy air freshener, dangling from the rear-view.
But all the derision that engine and interior may engender will likely melt away the first time you scissor those doors open and realize that the reason to own a Countach is to be seen in a Countach. The car – or at least the physical representation of the car – has the same crowd generating properties as a Mubarak dictatorship or naked Salma Hayek, and with this car's V8, it should be sufficiently quick that no one will likely contest its authenticity while your doing the road rumba. And at $40,000, this fake Countach represents some real savings over the real deal. Not only is that about a third of what a Sant'Agata original costs, but the ability to get the oil changed at Pep Boys rather than Ben Dover's House of Imports means it'll keep on saving you money as well.
Sure, it's no basement-built Countach, but then again you won't have to knock down any walls to get this one home either. So what do you think, is this artificially-flavored Countach worth the $40,000 taste test? Or, does both the car and the price leave a bad taste in your mouth?
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