In the song Fire Jimi Hendrix sang move over Rover, and let Jimi take over. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Range Rover is decked out to blast some Hendrix, but will its price make you think it's a dog?
They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and while yesterday's '79 Pinto Cruising Wagon was pretty trick, 57% of you thought the seller needed a lesson in value for giving it price so high only dogs could hear it. That didn't stop its museum quality condition and sex with a dwarf weirdness factor from receiving kudos from the collected commentariat, and leaving a number of you to muse over playing dead hooker Jenga under its louvered hatch.
Different eras define cool in different ways, and that ‘70s stalwart Pinto was icy cold back in its day – the tape stripes and louvers giving it the visual testosterone that contemporary engineering sadly couldn't raise from its engine. But, drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drome, time for this one to come home – in the present day, portholes, painted slot mags and blacked out chrome trim don't cut it, and have given way to tinted glass, DUBs and smoked running light lenses as expressions of hipness.
This 1999 Range Rover HSE in
triple sec triple black demonstrates how far we've come in just what it takes to be a ride fit for a playah. Or MrSinger. The '99 Range Rover, or P38A as the company coded it, comes from the era of Land Rover all-hailing their new BMW overlords, and as evidence its 4.6-litre V8 has Bosch engine electronics rather than the previous ones provided by that dark prince, Joe Lucas. The Rover eight is about as ubiquitous the go-to mill in Great Britain as the SBC is here, and under the hood of this HSE it produces a factory 222-bhp. The seller claims a cat back exhaust upgrade by Remus, which might be good for a few ponies more, or at least make up for those lost to a decade's worth of pimping. The Transmission is a ZF 4-speed auto, and a Borg Warner transfer case keeps both front and rear axles in the game.
The Range Rover is known for having such long suspension travel that it might require a tour guide, and here the duties are performed by airbags and a complex self-leveling set up. Brakes are disc all around with ABS, and starting this year the traction control also works on each corner rather than just the rear wheels.
And what wheels they are. Instead of Range Rover's factory satin-finish alloy rims, this car has black and chrome 22-inchers with kidney-punishing Falken rubberbands stretched thin over them. On top of that rolling bling, the car has been treated to an air raid-worthy black out treatment- the grille, bumpers and mirrors all joining in the black parade. Similarly, the windows have received the tint treatment, while the running lights, both front and rear, are heavily smoked leaving only the headlights and chrome badging to stand in contrast to this car's black holiness.
Inside there's more wood added on the dash, and the entire car has been Dyn-O-Mated so – as the seller claims- you can keep your music in, and not let any of the magic escape. Helping you further Dirk Diggler's music career here is a blah, blah, blah head unit, and a yada, yada, yada Kicker something or other. I don't really give a bat's balls about that kind of stuff, so check the ad if you want the details. And about that ad, the seller here is offering up his 83,000-mile custom Range Rover on both eBay and the Craigslist. He wants $17,875 for it over at Craig's house, while the buy it now on the Bay is $15,995, although that auction is going down to the wire today without anyone even tickling the reserve's balls. Still, that's the price we're using as you could easily get him down on Craigslist by bringing up the fact that you're an internet mother-effing Jedi master too and found his eBay ad. Sneaky playah is sneaky, but not so much.
And should you want to be confrontational and all up in the Tulsa seller's grille then what do you think about that $15,995 price? Is that bona fide for so much bling? Or, as he says he'll accept trades plus cash would you offer him two dollars, and. . . a Casio?
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