Lambrusco is both a grape and wine from central Italy. Lambretta is a scooter, also from Italy. The Lamboxster, despite what you might think, is definitely not from Italy, but it is today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe.
Yesterday's custom Corvette with its THIS PART IS IN ALL CAPS SO IT MUST BE IMPORTANT ad copy (we was, really?) got the custom part right, but lost a lot of its Vettiness in the process, resulting in both a made by Revell® appearance and an overwhelming 86% Crack Pipe loss. Color its seller candy apple red.
Another custom has come our way, but in this case its a car that's striving to look more like something than less. We've had Lambophonies here before, however those have usually been based on the Pontiac Fiero, a car that can trace its lineage back to the Opel Kadett. This Murcielago is based on a mercy it does go 2000 Porsche Boxster S, at least giving it some sports car cred.
The Porsche's platform has been stretched 10 inches according to the ad, in order to accommodate the proper Mercielago spider proportions. Longer usually equates to heavier, and the 2000 Boxster S clocked in at about 2,860 lbs dripping wet. Motivating those pounds was a 3,179-cc edition of the Porsche six making 250 horsepower. That's probably still the case here, although both that engine and its Tiptronic transmission now wear Italianate rather then Germanic clothes.
250 horses is a far cry from the 570-plus a real Murcielago corrals, but along with less alacrity comes lower costs, both to plant your ass in its modified Porsche seats, as well as to keep it on the road. Plus, imagine the fun of making your local Porsche service manager make his Moe face when you pop the bonnet and ask for an oil change. Whaaaaaa?!
The body looks pretty accurate a counterfeit of a real Murci Spider, right down to the lack of a full roof. The top, so clever and adept at keeping the rain out on a Boxster, has been given the heave-ho and replaced with what is best described as the soft top equivalent of the Little Black Dress – modestly covering and impractical when the weather turns inclement. The seller says it has 84K on the clock, but not how many of those have occurred since the operation.
The funny thing about this car is that, while it may be extremely accurate a copy of the real Murcielago Spider, I don't recall those cars every looking, as this one does, like your dog after he's just crapped on the carpet. The mirrors and kind of sad sack nose conspire to give this impression, and you'd be excused if you smacked it in the nose with a rolled up paper.
Lambo wheels, badges and a big-ol' center exhaust help it to pull off the Inspector Clouseau-worthy disguise, but inside it's hard to hide the Porsche-ness of its dash despite even more raging bulls. Of course, that's a hell of a lot better than the angular eighties-ness of a Fiero conversion.
There's still more fakery under the skin as this one only uses its back legs to scoot across the carpet rather than the Italian's all four. The transmission in the real Murci precedes the engine while in forward motion, while here it brings up the rear, just like any other Boxster. The Lamborghini's double wishbone suspension gets understudied by struts, as well.
Lambo doors are way over, and applying them to a Boxster might be seen as an indignity to that car. However here, having partnered the over-used scissor sisters with the rest of the car, they come off as mad fresh and might even signal a new trend of Lambo bodies being added to all manner of things.
Should that not be the case, this is a rare opportunity to own either a Porsche Boxster S with the rare and desirable Lambos Gone Wild package, or a Lamborghini Murcielago with the maintenance costs of a Porsche Boxster, wait, what?
As ambiguous as that may be, what's unambiguous is the $45,000 it'll take to park it in your driveway. What do you think about that price for this phony lamboloney? Is that a price that comes with a wink and a nod, or, with just a sad shake of the head?
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