Commenter Of The Day: Edwin Booth Edition

Edwin Booth is considered one of the greatest American stage actors of all time, following in his family's footsteps. He's known especially for his performances as Shakespeare's sorrowful Prince Hamlet. He'd certainly be remembered in theatrical and historical circles for his performances, but we know him better now because his brother, actor John Wilkes Booth, assassinated President Abraham Lincoln. Edwin was on the outs with his brother, and no radical, but still went into a self-imposed seclusion for months after the incident. He eventually returned to the stage and later, coincidentally and unknowingly, saved the life of Robert Todd Lincoln, the president's son. The father of Edwin and John was Junius Brutus Booth, named for the assassin of Julius Caeser. The guy who wrecked the Audi R8 GT probably didn't know all this, but E30Fernando clearly knows his Shakespeare.

Friends, Cars, Comentariat, lend me your ears;
I come to bury R8, not to drive him.
The evil that cars do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their rims;
So let it be with R8. The noble Audi
Hath told you the GT was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath R8 answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Audi and the rest -
For Audi is an honourable make;
So are they all, all honourable make-
Come I to speak in R8's funeral.
He was my friend, reliable and fast to me:
But Audi says he was ambitious;
And Audi is an honourable make.
He hath brought many models home to Deutschland
Whose payments did the maker's coffers fill:
Did this in R8 seem ambitious?
When that the rich have cried, R8 hath wept:
Cars should be made of carbon fiber:
Yet Audi says he was ambitious;
And Audi is an honourable make.
You all did see that on the Autobahn
We thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Audi says he was ambitious;
And, sure, Audi is an honourable make.
I speak not to disprove what Audi spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love R8 once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O wetness! thou art danger to fast cars, And cars have lost their control. drive with me;
My heart is in the junkyard there with R8,
And I must pause till it come back to us.

Effort. Rewarded.