You've seen the spy photos. Now, here it is — the spectacularly ordinary 2011 Mediocrity, proving how boring, beige and milquetoast mid-size sedans can be mocked by something that could easily be real.
Building on the successful formula enjoyed by satisfied owners of past Mediocrities, the 2011 model offers no alarms and no surprises.
Four doors. Four tires. Four cylinders in the engine under the hood that no owner will ever open without duress. It goes, it stops. What more could a large portion of car buyers want out of their beige appliance?
Convenience and Power packages? Sure, the Mediocrity has both — not that any buyer will select them. Available in your choice of Medium Crumb or Stale Biscuit, there's a color to suit any middle-of-the-road buyer.
This new Mediocrity will get an apt ad campaign, complete with taupe-colored TV commercials on basic cable cop shows and an earnest-if-bland Facebook page. Sure, other automakers say their vehicles offer driving excitement that buyers crave, but the Mediocrity always seems to be the most popular car on the road.