For $15,000, Drive a FierorghinteraS

Consider the prototypical rogue cop: permanent beard stubble, plays by his own rules, fashion sense above his pay scale. Now imagine if he were also. . . a clown. Well, today Nice Price or Crack Pipe has that Clown-Cop's car.

Yesterday's VW Phaeton achieved a fait accompli in garnering an 84% Nice Price win for its USDA Choice presentation at a mystery meat price. In fact, that car's $3.82 price per lugubrious pound would make it about the best weight-based value we've had here in a long time.

That VW was heavy. So heavy in fact that it would have been hard to drive it with much joy, its mass requiring instead a serious demeanor and, probably NPR on the radio. In contrast, today's candidate will require either a a sense of self-deprecation or the world's most blind ego.

This custom 1987 Pontiac Fiero is described by the seller as a GT5 pantera lamborghini, showing an utter lack of reverence for those brands, as well as what could possibly be construed as history's greatest poetic license.

While imitation is said to be the most sincere form of flattery, it's questionable just whom exactly this Fiero is trying to flatter. If you start to catalog its various scoops, folds, spindles and mutilations, it comes out more Countach than anything else, but a Countach as envisioned by the guys who draw Inspector Gadget.

Underneath all that plastic surgery is an '87 Fiero base, powered by the corporate 2.8-litre, 140-hp, V6, backed by a five-speed gearbox. In complete contrast to yesterday's VW, where a manual would have seemed totally out of character, in this home skillet, anything but a row your own would be but the final nail in its coffin. The rest of the interior is pure Pontiac and more angular than Iman, having even the boxy little gauge wart atop the center stack.

The seller claims that the car runs excellent, which is a perfect match to how excellent the exterior looks. . . from some angles. . . okay, it's kind of a freak show, but hey it is unique. He also says in the ad that he is force to sale, which may be like a force to be reckoned with, or force majeure which would free him from any liability should there be any buyer's remorse after the purchase of this one of a kind beauty.

But how could there be? After all, it's a unique personal statement of the owner's personality, whatever that might be. And for it to become your statement, you'll need to drop fifteen large, or so the seller is asking.

What would it take for you to call the Fierorghintera your own? Is that $15,000 price an easy hurdle to cross? Or, is the cost as uniquely idiosyncratic as is the car?

You decide!


Sacramento Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears.

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