Want to see every last inch of the Nürburgring, the world's greatest track, as slowly as possible? Consider one of these ten commenter-suggested rides. They're faster than walking, but not by much.
This is Answers of the Day — a feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
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10. Pro Stock Dragster
Suggested By: evoCS
Why: EvoCS's suggestion is an awesome one. It all hinges on how long it takes to refuel one of those bad boys. The ten-second burst of ludicrous speed will cover a lot of distance on the 'Ring's straight bits, but the most time will be spent refueling the thing, not to mention navigating corners. And lifting/repositioning the thing after it bottoms out/high-centers/just plain gets stuck.
Photo Credit: Rusty Jarrett, Getty Images
9. 1971-1980 Morris Marina
Suggested By: The Second Spitter
Why: As The Second Spitter notes, falling pianos are just about the only thing you'd have to worry about while traversing the German countryside. The Marina's earth-shaking 60 horses won't let you commit any serious speed crimes, so as long as there's no British Leyland reliability issues, you just have to make sure your ivories aren't tickled on the way.
Photo credit: johnrobertshepherd, flickr
8. 1966 Lincoln Continental
Suggested By: zacarious
Why: If you're going to be stuck out on the Nordschleife for a while, you might as well be stuck in style. I'm sure the Lincoln could navigate the 'Ring's twistier bits — albeit slowly — and there's no doubting its ability to gobble miles on the track's long main straight. As an added bonus, there's plenty of room for three, four, or maybe even five of your closest friends to come along. If it's going to be a long ride, why not bring a crowd for conversation?
Photo credit: Scrambled
7. 1959-1978 Saab 95
Suggested By: John Carter
Why: It's Swedish, it's weird looking, it's slow. Perfect for
crawling along the Green Hell. Like the Continental, the 95 boasts room for you and six of your closest friends, so you'll have plenty of able-bodied folks around when the car needs some help getting up a hill. Getting back down is easy — just tug the free-wheel handle and cruise away.
Photo credit: Saab History
6. 1989-2001 Geo Metro (Preferably the XFi)
Suggested By: Super Roo
Why: Making back-to-back appearances on our Answers of the Day list, the Geo Metro is only a solid 'Ring contender if you've got a chase car with you. Even with the pedal to the metal, there's a chance that the world's greatest crap car won't make it to the top of some of those hills. The chase car would have to step in with a little nudge when necessary. On the bright side, if you get a steep enough hill, you might hit double-digit speeds on the other side!
Photo credit: Team Swift
5. 1973-2002 Reliant Robin
Suggested By: Scotty_Beezle
Why: Just hope it rains before you head out on the track — that way, when the Robin tips over onto its side, it'll slide farther. Just cross your fingers and hope that some kind soul in a Porsche or BMW comes by fast enough — to flip you back over with his tailwind.
Photo credit: st_wenzel, flickr
4. 1954-1962 Iso/BMW Isetta
Suggested By: mkbruin
Why: What list of 'Ring cars would be complete without a BMW? Look at it this way — when you get bored puttering around the track at walking speed (and getting laughed at by M3 owners), you could open the front door and roll the car home, end-over-end. It wouldn't take any longer than driving the thing, and you'd get a workout as well. Who's laughing now, jerks?
Photo credit: SnaPsi Сталкер, flickr
3. 1948-1990 Citroen 2CV
Suggested By: for cardassia!
Why: Need to transport a bunch of French peasants in floppy hats and a basket of eggs from one end of the track to another? Oui? Have we got the car for you, m'sieur! If you get bored crawling around the track proper, the 2CV always offers the option of turning off into the woods and taking the overland route. Navigating the forest may not be any quicker, but think of the ride comfort!
Photo credit: f1rstborn, flickr
2. 1957-1975 Fiat 500
Suggested By: evoCS
Why: The 500 began life in 1957 as the Nuova, with a paltry 13 hp. By the end of production in 1975, it had gained ten more horses. While that may not seem like a lot, they were more than enough for Lang and Bev Kidby, who in 2007 took their 500 from Australia to Russia, where they drove across the continent and around the world in 99 days. If they can get a 500 around the world in 99 days, surely someone could get it around the Nurburgring in 20 minutes.
Photo credit: f-l-e-x, flickr
1. 1957-1991 Trabant
Suggested By: Hoccy
Why: Compared to the 500, the Trabant is a muscle car, producing (in 1989 tune) a whopping 26 hp from just 600 cc's of displacement. Sixty-two mph arrives in just 21 seconds, and the car's top speed of 70 mph arrives not long after that (albeit downhill, with a tailwind). Because the Trabi's body is made of cotton fiber, paper, wool, and other natural materials, you should probably try not to stuff it into a barrier. That being said, if you're headed for an impact, spin the car. Going in nose-first could result in an engine fire — the Trabant's fuel tank sits in the front of the car and above the engine.
Photo credit: Sean Gallup, Getty Images