Some people drive inordinately large vehicles in order to compensate for shortcomings below the waist. Today, Nice Price or Crack Pipe has a customized Ford that will let everybody know that your name could easily be Hugh Johnson.
When Ford followed up the Euro-sourced and Kent-powered Fiesta with a Korean-made phonebooth that carried a name that was evocative, not of south of the border parties, but of marketing meeting committees and ad-speak, it was another slight to their American customers. While enthusiasts over on the continent continued to get the spry little Fiesta in increasingly sporty permutations, including SuperSport and XR2, America got the Festiva with its 1.3-litre, 63-bhp four, and a tall, tippy body that was about as fun to drive as it was exciting to look at.
But today's contender - which started out as an '88 Festiva - takes care of that second issue by rocking a fly-yellow over black paint job, matching interior trim, and a set of Lambo doors to put the party back in this Festiva. But that's not all, as this littlest Ford has been ranchero-ized. That's right, in place of the back seats and hatch back is now an open bed and blacked-out tail lights. The switch to tiny trucklet completely changes the personality of the car, making it look suddenly less like something out of Revenge of the Nerds 4 - a Nerding in Connecticut and actually kinda' cool.
The doors may make it look like it's driven by some kind of douchebag dwarf - probably that munchkin from the lollypop league, he looked like a dink - but the rest of the car comes off like something miniature rodeo clowns drive to work. In fact, this would be a perfect car for a cadre of clowns with a penchant for country western music as it fulfills the twin needs of diminutive size and pick-up truck flexibility.
And this custom Ranchero could be yours for $3,800. For that you get the paint, some five-spoke alloys, the douchy doors and a slushbox that'll mean the go doesn't match the show, but at least you'll still look cool at the stoplights.
So, what do you think of this Ranchestivo for $3,800? Does that price make this custom car speak to your inner clown? Or, at $1,900 per lambo door, would you have to be a real bozo to buy it?
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