How Green Was My Volvo for $8,999!

Kermit the Frog once intoned that it isn't easy being green. As much as Nice Price or Crack Pipe respects the opinion of our friend with a hand up his ass, this bio fuel-ready Volvo wagon could prove him wrong.

As expected, yesterday's sheep in tumorous wolf's clothing caused some consternation when it came to the vote. But in the end, the Pontiac fell like so many before it - only more slowly - to a 64% crack pipe vote. The most damning accusation laid against that '86 Grand Prix was that it bore false witness- talking the talk, but its lackluster 305 V8 failing to walk the walk

Today's contender makes no such promises, and one look at it will immediately establish expectations. Slow, sturdy, and about as sexy as grandma panties, this 1992 Volvo 240 diesel wagon is even described by its seller as definitely not a zippy VW tdi, it is a 6 cylinder Volvo diesel tank!

How Green Was My Volvo for $8,999!

Now, Volvo officially stopped bringing the diesels to the U.S. in 1984, calling into question the model year of this D24-powered 7-seater. The seller says that, originally sold in Germany, it was imported by a private owner, and the KPH-only speedo lends credence to that. They give little description as to the shape of the mechanicals, other than to say that overall, the car is in "amazing condition." With only 57,787 on the clock, the alloy-case M47 5-speed and VW-sourced 2,383-cc diesel six shouldn't be too eff'd up.

What's that? Yes, this is a Volvo diesel wagon. With a five speed manual tranny. And it's not full of radioactive poo-flinging monkeys, nor does it have a tree growing through the middle of it. In fact, aside from the rims, it looks like it may have just rolled out of Torslanda.

How Green Was My Volvo for $8,999!

While it's not a turbodiesel, and the 80-hp VW engine has some serious oiling issues, the car should be capable of mileage in the mid-30s. Plus there's always the option of converting the car to run on bio-fuel and running it on the drippings from your teenage neighbor's used acne pads. That's the reason the Green Car Company has this Washington-licensed blue box up for sale- they're hoping you'll replace its carcinogenic black tailpipe farts with those smelling of french fries and clean skies. Hell, if you buy the car, they'd probably throw in one of those annoying "coexist" bumper stickers that seem to be standard equipment on all the 240s.

As those hemp-wearing tree huggers at the Green Car Company are most likely unfamiliar with the vagaries of capitalism, you may be able to negotiate that asking price down a bit. If, on the outside chance they're just limousine liberals looking to make a quick buck by preying on the ecological sensibilities of birkenstock-shod tofu-eaters, that $8,999 Internet Special might be as low as they go.

And just how low is that $8,999? Is it low enough to make you want to go green while burning the midnight oil? Or, is that asking too much green for this not-yet green machine?

You decide!

How Green Was My Volvo for $8,999!


The Green Car Company, or go here if the ad disappears.

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