Booty Call 500E for $7,500

Nineteen years before the Panamera, another 4-door sport sedan growled its way out of the Porsche factory. Today, Nice Price or Crack Pipe has a 500E at a price that broaches the question; Rectum? Damn-near killed ‘em.

Mercedes Benz has a long history of shoving honkin'-big V8s into their sedans, creating locomotive-like power delivery, and fuel economy that would elicit cries of "drill-baby-drill" from their owners. The 6.3 and 6.9 SOHC monsters that lived under the hoods of the W109 and W116 super sedans provided those cars with Ferrari-level performance, and executive jet accommodation at prices and production numbers that ensured only those of means could enjoy them.

But something happened in the 1980s- somebody at BMW got ahold of John Delorean's playbook, and realized that you could toss a high-output motor into a less expensive mid-size platform for an even more satisfying taste sensation. BMW's M1-powered M5 caught Mercedes off guard, as the Swabians had nothing comparable in their stable. At the time, the E-Class' engine compartment couldn't take the large-and-in-charge DOHC 4,973-cc V8 that was powering the halo S coupe and roadster.

Enter Porsche, who had plenty of experience with packaging performance motors in tight spaces. Benz struck a deal with the glorified Volkswagen makers to undertake the modification and final assembly of their M5-competing 500E sedan. Requiring the structure ahead of the firewall to be extensively modified, as well as reinforced drivetrain components and a wider track under fenders with more flare than the Jackson Five, the resultant car became the quickest sedan of the day to carry the three pointed star. Besides handling the final component assembly, Porsche also assembled the components to make the 500E handle, updating the suspension to make the car as spry as it was spritely. One part they had to leave pretty much alone was MB's recirculating ball steering, which is not known for road feel or quickness, and is one of the 500E's less engaging features.

That M119 32-valve V8 that Porsche squeezed under the hood pumps out 326-bhp, and rockets the four-place Q-ship to sixty in 6 seconds flat. The transmission has only four speeds, but is robust enough to handle the big eight's torque, and there's no fiddly flappy paddles to be bothered with- just drop it into gear, point & shoot, and hold on. In fact, there's not much in the way of electronic nannies to get between you and the car eating the road like it was a bucket full of whisky-soaked KFC, so you might want to cinch that seatbelt up extra tight.

Booty Call 500E for $7,500

This 1993 500E has the earlier motor (although the seller quotes the '94+ horsepower rating), as well as the stock alloys, which is a plus as the wheels are frequently traded out for gum-band wearing kidney-punishers on these cars. The interior is claimed in good shape with the exception of the headliner, as that has sagged more than the housing market, and would impede rear visibility were the heavily-tinted windows not already doing so. The nose has been upgraded to the ‘94+ appearance, which would be a clue to any perspective buyer to have the car racked before purchase to ensure there's no frame damage. The rest of the car - plastic cladding, Recaro seats, etc - is still as it left Porsche's Rossle-Bau factory.

Booty Call 500E for $7,500

Not as it left the factory, and something that is only glossed over at the end of the ad, is the fact that this 500E has been the recipient of an unfortunate attempt to push in its stool - not that there's anything wrong with that. Avid Jalopnik reader and 500E aspirant MannyBones contacted the seller and got him the send the shots showing that his claim of the damaged parts being "all salvageable" is questionable, as the bumper face is pretty beat up, and - as is always the case with these things - you can't tell what's busted underneath without yanking it all apart. Overall it could be a few grand in repairs to make it right- or a butt-load more.

And that's why the seller has limbo'd his price down to $7,500 for a car that, even with beaucoup mileage (and this guy doesn't tell you what's on the clock here) regularly goes for $10K-plus. If the miles are low enough, they can easily command twice that, or more.

Booty Call 500E for $7,500

So, as one of only 1,505 U.S. cars sold, but with a hampered ability to keep your junk in its trunk, what's your take on this 500E's $7,500 asking price? Do you think that even with a busted boo-tay, that price is okay? Or do you think paying that much would mean the Benz wasn't the only one taking it up the ass?

You decide!

Omaha Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears. Tip of the hat to MannyBones!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.