Be Impulsive for $4,500!

Despite Joe Isuzu's hyperbole, people used to avoid buying Isuzus as though they were chock full of grandma porn. Today, Nice Price or Crack Pipe gives you another chance to buy one, but is this Impulse just a regular Joe?

Yesterday we had a rare but wrong-wheel drive Lotus that intrigued and repulsed in almost equal measure. I say almost because the '91 Elan managed to eke out a narrow 52% Nice Price win for its fourteen grand asking price. As lifting the skirt on that Lotus revealed Isuzu twig and berries, I thought it might be interesting to take a look at what that drivetrain might go for when it's wearing its regular clothes.

That's why today we're looking at a 1991 Isuzu Impulse RS AWD Turbo, which could be yours for an un-lotus-like $4,500. Posted to Isuzuone.com by a less than motivated seller, this lightly modded second gen Impulse is probably one of the nicer ones out there. Needing something more comfortable for his baby to ride in - one assumes that by baby he means a child, and not some manipulative gum-smacker in heels - he still lists the litany of parts that he has replaced to make the Impulse "reliable". The sexy angles of his photobucket spread demonstrate his obvious affection for the car as he poses it like a swimsuit model. He's also nice enough to detail the car's problem areas - including the non-functioning heater and some tired paint. Those issues, however, may be overshadowed by the enhancements made to the car, including a 45K-fresh engine rebuild, and a de-badged and mono-chromated body.

Be Impulsive for $4,500!

The first generation of Impulse (or Piazza elsewhere) was a Giorgetto Giugiaro design, one of four "aces" he penned as show cars. That car, with its movable outrigger instrument nacelles, and Opel-ancestored I-Mark platform, fought the good fight for 10 years, but never managed to effectively compete in sales with the Honda Quaaludes and Nissan 200SEX's that also vied for sport coupe buyer's monthly payments.

Be Impulsive for $4,500!

The second generation shunned the designer duds for a track suit bought at the Walmarts, and shared in most part, with the Geo Storm. Like yesterday's Lotus, this Impulse has Isuzu's 1,588-cc turbo four winding out 160-bhp from its 16-valves. Putting the ponies to the pavement is the job of the of the three-diff all-wheel drive system, providing the car with a cut-rate Audi Quattro feel, and giving the Lotus-tuned suspension something to do. Passive rear-wheel steering helped keep the 2,780-lb car pointed in the right direction, and made soft bushings a feature rather than a foible. That turbo engine lasted all of a single model year, being replaced with a 1.8-litre, 140-bhp normally aspirated four in 1992. By that time, Joe Isuzu was no longer hawking Impulses, but instead selling laughs as Richard Mulligan's smarmy neighbor on the sit-com classic, Empty Nest.

We're bringing Joe back one more time to tout the benefits of this 1991 Impulse- because this seller deserves a professional spokesperson:

The 1991 Isuzu Impulse has more room inside than a Boeing 747, (He's lying. While uncommonly spacious, the Impulse is not roomier than a 747) and like the 747, the Impulse is able to fly at 7,500 miles per hour. (Not true, in fact the Impulse has a top speed of 125-mph) Not only that, but it comes with a FREE five pound bag of diamonds, and when you buy it, you'll never have to pay taxes again. (FREE five pound bag of diamonds not included, failure to pay taxes may result in penalties and prison time) Call right away and get a special price of only one dollar, that's a deal that's impossible to beat (Actually, the asking price is $4,500, although calling right away is a good idea.) The 1991 Isuzu Impulse- roomier and faster than a 747, and tax-free forever. You have my word on it.

So, are you swayed by Joe Isuzu and think $4,500 is, truth be told, a good price? Or, is that price just one more of Joe's crazy taradiddles?

You decide!

isuzuone.org or go here if the ad disappears. Tip of the hat to Blix for fulfilling the impulse!

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