When creating the Simpson's characters, Matt Groening named Bart from an anagram of Brat- reflecting his personality. Now Nice Price or Crack Pipe has a Subaru that seems almost as crudely drawn and rowdy.
Yesterday was close, but in the end the Bagheera bagged a Crack Pipe vote of 55%. Despite that car's Jungle Book-sourced appellation, it wouldn't be your first choice when you need to go deep in the bush. For back roads and no roads you need something with a little more ground clearance, maybe four wheel drive and a brush guard. A bed to hold all the empty beer cans wouldn't hurt either.
What we have here is a Bi-drive Recreational All-terrain Transporter or ‘BRAT' from all-wheel-drive Sensei Subaru. The ad omits the year, but as it's a second generation - and still sporting the bass-ackwards bed seats - it falls in the '81-'85 range. The asking price is $2,350, which seems about what it must have cost to replace all the parts listed as new. The ad also shows the BRAT in it's natural environment- hooning it up on the dirt whoopdies. This is a car made for those Here, hold my beer. . . moments that precede the inevitable trips to the emergency room.
If you're not familiar with the Subaru BRAT - say you just stumbled over here by accident from Jezebel and became morbidly intrigued - it's a derivation of the Leone unibody sedan, with an open bed replacing the rear bodywork, a pair of little removable roof panels, and. . . well, let's just have octogenarian cougar Ruth Gordon explain it from beyond the grave-
There, wasn't that easier? This Subie also has the center driving light which is hidden under the grill badge. Having that is kind of like having a superfluous nipple- a conversation starter, but really of little practical value. It's not like you would ever be in danger of over-driving the main sealed beams, as the 1.8 litre flat four - up under the front-mounted spare tire - puts out a meager 78 bhp at a lazy 4800 rpm.
Not so lazy are the rear-facing plastic thrones that allow passengers an unfettered view of where you've been, and just how freaking big a Peterbilt badge is from 5 feet away. Seatbelts will keep them from leaping overboard in panic, and the kick-in step ahead of the rear wheel allows for easy egress. Sadly, like diving boards and Lawn Darts, these have been actuarially frowned upon.
So, $2,350 for an I Love the ‘80s BRAT. Is that price nice enough for door number one? Or do you pick door number two, behind which lies nothing but crack?
Come on Jezebelians, your vote counts too. Just try not to hurt anybody, okay?
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