VW Passat Lands In Precarious Position After Failed Ken Block Impersonation

This Virginia commuter found herself in a precarious position after losing all sense of direction traveling through a construction zone. How's she going to explain this mishap to her insurance company?

We could attempt to make some sort of sense out of the situation at hand, but the NASIOC forum member and Virginia Transportation Engineer who took these images has taken the time to umm... delicately... dissect the actions and reactions that resulted in this epic 'Dukes of Hazzard' style failure. Read on:

Dear Asian Woman in Grey VW Passat,

Every once in a while I come across pictures of accidents that are amazing, embarrassing, stupid, tragic and hilarious. But never have I ever come across an accident such as the one you had at one of our job sites this morning.

The first thought to go though my mind was the emoticon :-D, then a set of Internet slangs (ROFL and WTF to be exact) then an Internet meme of failblog. That's right, you have managed to create a scene so jawdroppingly incomprehensible, completely illogical, and physics defying that all the logical and reasoning receptors of my brain rejected these thoughts and they jumped straight to the portion of my brain destroyed by the Internet and alcohol. Taking the time to deduce the events prior to the current situation in the picture has made my brain hurt.

I have seen the maintenance of traffic plans on Frying Pan Road/Route 28 interchange and they are pretty simple. There were no sudden lane shift or complicated detours and the project was signing and marking was placed by the book. The lanes were narrowed from 12 feet to 11 feet and the traffic was shifted to one side to allow room for the construction area off the shoulder. The situation created should have been anything but confusing. All the cars entering the work zone were reduced in speed and the giant orange reflective barrels, signs and concrete barriers on either side channeled you into your lane.

If you could, please answer the following questions because Deep Blue would have trouble crunching the permutations it took for you to end up the way you did.

* How did you not notice that you at one point came off pavement and onto 50 feet of dirt, still manage to have enough speed traverse the dirt pile and jump 20 feet to land on the concrete wing wall?
* Are you familiar with operating a vehicle on a US roadway before?
* Do you know that on US roadways there is always pavement under your tires?
* Do you know the difference between driving on dirt and asphalt?
* Were you under the influence of and drugs, video game episodes or alcohol?
* Are you aware that there are no jumps to clear giant concrete obstacles while driving?
* Are you aware that there are no points, money, gold coins to gain if you attempt to jump mounds of dirt on the side of the road?
* Do you think you are Ken Block?
* Has the positions of the gas and brake pedals been modified on your vehicle?
* Do you know which pedal does what in your vehicle?
* Has your car been modified in anyway such as rocket boosters or anti gravity jets?

Thank you in advance. Hopefully these answers will stop the hemorrhaging in my brain. If this incident has not taken your license away permanently please voluntarily cut it up right now.

Cheers,
Oodles-of-Noodles

P.S. I was going to put the typical unamused picture here but I am not. This was anything but. In fact, it requires an applause picture. Bravo for making my day, Bravo.

Too harsh? Probably exactly what she deserves. (Hat Tip To Angus!)

[via NASIOC]