If you hadn't noticed, it's Earth Day. We here at Jalopnik cover green car technology constantly. We need a day off. It's Opposite Earth Day. What's the best way to increase your automotive carbon footprint?
In an automotive sense, the main greenhouse gas culrpits are: production, delivery, displacement, aerodynamics, and weight. In terms of production, you can't do much worse than Russian manufacturing so we'll take a Lada. You can actually find the occasional Lada here in the US, but what's fun in that? We'll have it shipped, via an otherwise empty C-130, across the globe. For aerodynamic purposes (or rather, the opposite), we'll take a Lada Wagon but toss out the regular engine in exchange for a mid-mounted V12 from the Murcielago. Actually, we think we know where we can find one. Where the engine used to be we'll add a dozen leaky car batteries. Why? To power all the incandescent lights we've attached to the car. We'll drive it backwards as fast as we can go and then we'll be doing our part to make the earth-head puppet cry.