A woman in Kissimmee, Florida called 911 because she couldn't get the car started and was locked inside. And by "locked inside" we mean unfathomably stupid and unresourceful.
The unidentified woman called emergency dispatch last Sunday when she determined her car would not start and she was "trapped" inside, parked at the Walgreens. It was getting hot in there after all. The dispatcher (who no-doubt, stood up and looked around to make sure the department jokester wasn't on the other end) calmly asked the woman if she had pulled the lock release mechanism, which she had not, and then directed the woman to pull the door handle. Surprise! Freedom!
In many ways, this whole event is an allegory for our modern, entertainment-saturated and information-bereft culture. She was literally a prisoner of her own ignorance. [Orlando Sentinel]